


A General Sense of Something (to change at a later date)

by therewasaproblemwithurtransaction



Series: A General Sense [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Autistic Character(s), F/F, F/M, Gen, I mean the character(s) r mentioned but, M/M, Mentions of Mental Illness, Mentions of Violence, and so is everybody else, hamilton is a mess, it's not necessarily stated that they're autistic, mentions of the death penalty, mentions of the united states justice system, mostly texting, nobody has food because they're in college, not a lot, not rly explicitly mentioned(?), theres regular story too but, this is mostly texting, thomas jefferson likes mac 'n' cheese
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-06
Updated: 2018-04-13
Packaged: 2019-01-09 15:28:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 21,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12279300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therewasaproblemwithurtransaction/pseuds/therewasaproblemwithurtransaction
Summary: almost everybody in Hamilton is in college together and they text and generally live lives





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> who's in character? nobody's in character that's who (as in fanon character, all of the people in this story were irl terrible and also racist but we're going off the musical so)  
> this will be updated every 1-2 weeks  
> also this first chapter(?) will be posted in two parts bc the archive cut off some of the first chapter so

_ lolwtf _

 

**jlol:** guys

**jlol:** guys this kid this scrawny ass child

**jlol:** just fucking dexked george king in the face

**jlol:** im tearing up

**jlol:** it was beautiful

**jlol:** _ video:getrektking.vid _

**literalgod:** i

**largebaguette:** im in love got damn

**aburr:** thats alexander hamilton

**aburr:** hes the talk of the school board

**aburr:** kids taking three majors

**tjeffs:** damn tf

**jmads:** thats not the greatest idea i don't think

**elizard:** no its not

**jlol:** do u have his number, skype, snapchat l, contact info in general and of so add him

**abuur** : i do

**jlol** : add. him.

**jlol** : pls

_ aburr has added fknfightmejanet _

**fknfightmejanet** : lol wut

**jlol** : welcome, friend, puncher of kings and god of people

**fknfightmejanet** : alright alright

**tjeffs** : whats w ur name exactly

**fknfightmejanet** : im always ready to fkn go boii

**tjeffs** : understandable

**tjeffs** : ita long tho

**fknfightmejanet** : fuxkin fight me janet

**large baguette** : i like u, petit lion

**fknfightmejanet** : merci, beaucoup

**large baguette** : yoooo u speak French

**fknfightmejanet** : oui, i do

**fknfightmejanet:** also Spanish, english and creole if u count that as a language rather than a dialect

**jlol** : thats hot wtf

**literalgod** : it is indeed

**tjeffs** : what r u majoring in

**tjeffs** : we were told u had three

**fkndightmejanet** : lol yeah

**fknfightmejanet** : poli sci, history and law boi

**angel:** were major buds

**angel:** as in i take poli sci

**tjeffs:** as do i

**jmads:** same but as a minor

**jlol** : lol im a med student

**literalgod** : fashion

**largebaguette** : lol mate i dont have a major

**tjeffs** : thats bc u dont go to school laf

**tjeffs:** u tend to ur 'marquis' duties

**fkndightmejanet:** lol that sounds tiring and pretentious

**fknfightmejanet:** anyway

**fknfightmejanet:** do any of u know of any coffee shops open 24 hrs

**tjeffs:** yeah its called the revolution

**fknfightmejanet** : nice

**aburr:** no not nice Alexander u need to sleeo sometime

**fknfightmejanet:** nah mate i survive on pure spite and caffeine along

**aburr** : gwash would be giving u his disappointed look rn

**fkndightmejanet:** and i would be giving him my 'im an orpham immigrant from Nevis on a full ride scholarship at an elite school i dont have time to sleep' look

**aburr** : alexander please

**fknfightmejanet:** burr, sir,

**aburr:** i know

**fkndightmejanet** : do u tho

**aburr:** trust me alexander

**fknfightmejanet:** i mean its kinsa hard when u dont twll anyone ur views on anything

**tjeffs** : damn

**tjeffs** : calling out burr and punching king?

**jmads** : a saint, truly

**tjeffs** : unequivocally

**jlol:** honestly

**pegs** : john

**jlol** : peggy

**angel:** Angelica

**elizard:** Eliza

**largebaguette:** i am sometimes concerned by your ability to do that

**fknfightmejanet:** im not thats cool as shit lets all do that

**fkndightmejanet** : i mean i just met u but still

**literalgod:** i agree

**largebaguette** : lets

**jlol:** indeed

**tjeffs:** im down

**jmads:** as am i

**angel:** u cant steal our coordination

**elizard:** yeah its Schuyler ™ u gotta come up w ur own

**pegs:** make a song

**aburr:** that would take too long

**fknfightmejanet:** well make a song the

**aburr:** what happened to democracy

**fknfightmejanet** : overthrown by Peggy

**pegs:** thats true

_ lolwtf _

**jmads:** hello does anybidy have anything other than macaroni and cheese at there dorm that i can eat

**jlol** : yeah but why

**jmads:** im at thomas and that is

**jmads:** all he has

**tjeffs:** i have other things

**jmads:** like what

**tjeffs:** non perishable food items

**tjeffs:** and peanut butter

**tjeffs** : bread, butter, some maybe spoiled orange juice

**jmads:** so essentially nothing

**tjeffs:** essentially

**jmads** : john do u mind if thomas and i come over

**jlol** **:** nah man every one is over here rn like

**jlol** : peggy showed up bc peggy u kno and then angie and liza were like hey

**jlol** : and herc brought alex and laf is in france fuckin abt so

**jlol** **:** aarons w theo today too

**jmads** ****_**:** _


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> second part of the first chapter

Alexander Hamilton was a sight to behold. Fiery eyes and a general air of determination surrounded him, despite looking like someone who shouldn't be so noticeable. The man was wearing a hoodie at least two sizes too big, and it looked as if he were swimming in it. His hands moved frantically as he talked with John and Angelica about the politics of King Arthur, which somehow related to the Vietnam War in a way that Thomas couldn't quite grasp. His hair was pulled into a bun with a scrunchie and his face was free of any blemishes except for deep bags under his eyes that practically looked like bruises. He had an iced coffee in his hand and he looked as if he were going to drop it at any moment. Thomas watched as he took a sip from the straw and continued talking with the same frantic motions as before. James gave Thomas a knowing look and announced that he was going to make pizza if anybody wanted some. John and Peggy joined James in the Kitchen and Eliza reached for John's laptop to put on a movie. It was a domestic scene, for them.

The thing about Alexander is, he let's his work consume him. Everybody around him knows this. Aaron gave each of his new friends a list of what to look for when Alex gets bad again. As in not eating or sleeping, as in not talking or moving, as in not leaving, as in not working. As in feeling guilty for all of that but not being able to get up because it's an all or nothing game. It reminds James of Thomas in the sense that Thomas will retreat to himself when his anxiety gets bad, in the sense that Thomas has gone a week without classes due to circumstances only he knows. George Washington knows both of these things about both of these people and he helps accordingly, as much as he can without getting involved, per se, in his students' lives. It's the most he can do at this point, the most he'll ever be able to do.

Another thing about Alexander is that he doesn't stop, even when it's bad, until it gets to the point of no return. He'll work on an essay for three nights straight, perfecting it, editing it, reading and tweaking and wondering about it, and he'll go these three days with nothing but a packet of belvita breakfast biscuits and a duty water bottle he neglects to touch. So when somebody comes in and he's asleep at his desk, laptop open and face on the keyboard, they take him away from his work, and into his friends' lives. They buy him a large iced coffee, knowing how much he hates it when people provide for him. Alexander is a hurricane, essentially and ironically.

 

_ lolwtf _

 

**tjeffs:** everybody

**tjeffs:** im dying.

**fknfightmejanet:** lol same dude

**tjeffs:** thats not good

**tjeffs:** too many ppl in our friend group are dying

**jlol:** im not

**jlol:** none of us are over 25 so technically none of us are dying anyway

**jlol:** cells are renewing themselves too fast to be considered dying guys

**largebaguette:** john

**largebaguette:** i worry sometimes

**jlol:** understandable but i can take better care of myself than alex

**tjeffs:** most people can

**fknfightmejanet:** wow jefferson

**fknfightmejanet:** fight me

**tjeffs:** alright where we fighting

**fknfightmejanet:** dennys parking lot, 3 am

**tjeffs:** i have an essay tonight lets do it tmrw

**fknfightmejanet:** i gotta go to therapy tmrw

**tjeffs:** alright im free

**tjeffs:** jimmy when am i free

**jmads:** not anytime soon

**tjeffs:** okay then

**fknfightmejanet:** tbh same

**fknfightmejanet:** we can have a non physical fight in gwash

**tjeffs:** deal

**fknfightmejanet:** see u this afternnon

**angel:** i swear to fuck it is three in the god damn morning go the fuck to sleep

**tjeffs:** sorry angie

**angel:** just go to sleep

**angel:** or do this privately

**fknfightmejanet:** goodnight 

**angel:** goodnight alexander

 

George Washington’s debate class was a once in a lifetime thing to witness, especially with Alexander Hamilton and Thomas Jefferson in the same class. Today’s topic was about the death penalty in America. Alexander was to be for it, and Thomas against it. The debate was as one would expect:

“Look, man, the financial cost to taxpayers of capital punishment is so much more than it is to keep someone in prison for life. It violates the constitution, even. To me, it’s a cruel and unusual punishment and I’m sure most would agree! Besides, we as a society should really move away from this ‘eye for an eye’ revenge mentality if we want to advance as a society. The death penalty is contradictory in that we are killing people who are killing people to show that killing people is wrong. What kind of message is that? Besides, prison is enough punishment as it is. Especially with how flawed the justice system in this country is.”

“I see your point, and I raise you mine. Justice is better served this way, see, and it gives closure to the family. They’ve suffered enough, the children too. Wives and mothers and husbands of these people deal with them being in prison for so long, worrying and stressing about their wellbeing. You don’t have to do that when somebody’s dead. And yes, of course it’s understandably sad, but if they’re on the death penalty they’ve likely done something tremendously bad. And while this does seem to go against all human decency, the death penalty contributes to the problem of overpopulation in the prison system. Yes, this country’s justice system is corrupt, and yes it goes against the constitution, I must give you that, but there is one more thing you seem to have forgotten to consider, Thomas. Prison breaks, escaped murderers, Thomas. When these people escape they’re given the chance to do whatever got them into prison in the first place, again.”

 

_ lolwtf _

 

**angel:** alexander is absolutely poetic in his debates how 

**aburr:** i know, it’s something to admire about him

**angel:** he was arguing for the death penalty and the boy rhymed

**angel:** rhymed defending the death penalty

**aburr:** it’s a talent of his

**aburr:** i don't even think he agrees with the death penalty

**aburr:** i might be wrong tho so dont quote me on that

**jmads:** they both just walked out

**jmads:** like they looked at washington and he just gestured to the door

**jmads:** i mean they were screaming, but still

**angel:** truly a beautiful sight to behold

**fknfightmejanet:** i appreciate that you appreciate my poetic tendencies

**fknfightmejanet:** i think we ought to call off our fight jefferson

**fknfightmejanet:** you made a wonderful declaration

**tjeffs:** im touched hamilton

**fknfightmejanet:** u should be its prolly the only time ill ever compliment u on a debate

**fknfightmejanet:** also do u know why were were kicked out wash wont tell me

**fknfightmejanet:** i mean he wont pick up his phone but still

**tjeffs:** idk

**jmads:** i reckon u gave him a migraine

**fknfightmejanet:** plausible

**angel:** indeed it is

**fknfightmejanet:** so anyway

**fknfightmejanet:** i didnt have breakfast and doe anybody have food i can come over and eat

**elizard:** im making pancakes rn if u want some

**elizard:** bring thomas too

**elizard:** i accidentally made enough batter to feed a large army of small children

**fknfightmejanet:** that sounds beautiful and i appreciate u you wonderful woman


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> html coding to happen sometime later probably

_ lolwtf _

 

elizard: it has been three hours and twenty four minutes since alexander hamilton passed the fuck out on my whole couch

elizard: i haven’t been able to move him and thomas jefferson is not helping

tjeffs: hey

tjeffs: hey

elizard: u haven’t moved from the chair since u turned spongebob on 

largebaguette: um

largebaguette: i never expected such things from u thomas

tjeffs: stfu laf u watch teen titans go

largebaguette: i

jmads: what i want to know is why they both stayed at your dorm

elizard: they ate and then i left for class and it’s been like this since i got back

tjeffs: ham is awake

fknfightmejanet: why tf did u just call me ham

tjeffs: its easier than writing ur whole name 

fknfightmejanet:

_ fknfightmejanet has changed their name to hamham _

 

hamham: anyway

hamham: i wanna watch west side story

literalgod: john n i have it on dvd

jlol: yeah we do

hamham: can i come over and when

jlol: tonight prolly

literalgod: thats alright w me

jlol: nice lets have a musical night

jlol: west side story, rent, the book of mormon, every disney movie ever made

tjeffs: r we all invited to this

largebaguette: am i invited to this

jlol: yeah and ur in france laf

jlol: well have another when u come back

largebaguette: good

largebaguette: let it be known that i love u for that

angel: im down for it

peggy: ill bring snacks

hamham: can i bring maria

elizard: hot maria or

hamham: hot

hamham: she works at the coffee shop

elizard: nice

jlol: lol yeah hook liza up boi

elizard: 

elizard:

angel: yeah maria’s a lovely girl

peggy: she’s wonderfully beautiful, and smart too

elizard: have i ever told u that

elizard: while i love u

elizard: u are all terrible

 

_ lolwtf _

 

hamham: u kno there is absolutely nothing in the chapter on respecting the flag that says anything at all about standing for it

hamham: that is not required to show respect to betsy ross’s flag

hamham: it does however say

hamham: that you cant wear the flag on any piece of clothing, and it shouldn’t be carried flat and should always be flown free

hamham: so essentially

hamham: what americans have been doing to respect the flag isnt actually respecting the flag, rather disrespecting it

hamham: and the thing they go batshit about ‘not respecting the flag’ by not standing is actually neither respecting nor disrespecting the flag 

tjeffs: 

tjeffs: while i agree with u

tjeffs: it is four in the morning

tjeffs: what the fuck hamilton

hamham: im in my most political moods in the early morn

largebaguette: alexander you worry me

hamham: i just downed a coffee mixed with redbull to get through my classes so its completely understandable tbh

tjeffs: 

tjeffs: im walking u to class today wtf man

hamham: i guess

hamham: that might be a smart idea

tjeffs: yeah

largebaguette: u shouldn’t even go to class mon ami 

hamham: laf i gotta 

hamham: i have a presentation due today

hamham: and its great

largebaguette: w/e just dont tell me u literally died at some point during the day

hamham: deal


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all the html will be added when i actually have time to do things other than copy and paste, thank you, have a good night/evening/day/afternoon

_ lolwtf _

 

angel: have i ever told u guys that i

angel: absolutely despise u

peggy: also

peggy: same

peggy: but when is the musical night

jlol: i share ur sentiments angie and its friday prolly

hamham: hey

hamham: hey

hamham: i had valid points and u know it angelica

angel: i know alexander

angel: it was five in the morning alexander

hamham: fair

aburr: this is why i have u guys on mute

hamham: well damn burr sir

hamham: what is causing u to be so rude

hamham: also pls bring theo to the musical night i havent seen her in so long

aburr: alexander you’ve never seen theo

hamham: exactly my point

angel: did thomas walk u to class tho

tjeffs: yeah

tjeffs: james came with

tjeffs: he bought us all coffee and now i owe him like 20$

jmads: ur the one who asked for coffee thomas

hamham: how much jail time do u get for possessing a bootleg of a broadway musical

literlgod: ….. why?

hamham: asking for a friend

tjeffs: it depends on the copyright and how many times/if you’ve been caught doing it before but generally u just have to pay a fine

literalgod: why do u know that 

tjeffs: i googled it

hamham:

hamham: wow

aburr: theo want to know if u guys wanna go out to eat tmrw

hamham: i dont have any money

hamham: i spent my last three dollars on a few weeks worth of ramen

aburr: thomas can pay for u

aburr: instead of paying james he can just pay for both of ur meals

tjeffs: that is literally the least fair thing ive ever witnessed

hamham: im sure u dont mean that

hamham: i really hope u dont mean that

tjeffs: alexander hamilton i am exaggerating 

hamham: good

jlol: hello did u know that our dear friend lafayette

largebaguette: john laurens don’t you dare

largebaguette: i trusted u

jlol: lol babe it’s not even a secret i was gonna say u have a shitton of alley cats in france

jlol: like have u guys seen his snapchat story 

jlol: cats

jlol: everywhere

largebaguette: lol yeah

largebaguette: someone planted some catnip out there and the baker feeds them

hamham: thats beautiful and wonderful

hamham: truly

peggy: hey can i come live w u laf

largebaguette: im coming to america in a month peggy so not now

peggy: damn

peggy: can i go back w u tho

largebaguette: sure 

peggy: nice

angel: peggy

elizard: peggy

angel: u have to finish ur education

  
  


_ lolwhy _

 

hamham: have u ever just really wanted to walk on marble floors

largebaguette: i have walked on marble floors

largebaguette: its like walking on a wooden floor except its made of marble

hamham: wow laf

jmads: its not satisfying unless it makes a sound

jmads: u have to wear like tap shoes or smtg

angel: walking on marble floor with heels is fun

hamham: ik what its like ive been to the lincoln memorial

hamham: i just rly wanna walk on marble floor rn

pegs: lets go to the lincoln memorial then

elizard: peggy were in new york

elizard: thats in washington dc

hamham: yeah peggy i have four dollars

pegs: we could go like hobos on a train during the great depression

hamham: peggy do u know how hard it is to jump onto a moving train

hamham: or a stopped train if its just cargo

pegs: no ive never done it

hamham: its hard

tjeffs: are u telling me youve jumped onto trains while they were moving

hamham: thats plausible

jlol: first, cool

jlol: second, wtf alex

jlol: why would u jump on a moving train

hamham: i wanted to

literalgod: really alex really

literalgod: i mean i would 

aburr: anyway the dinner is tonight 

hamham: are we supposed to look nice where is this happening

aburr: olive garden so no u can wear normal clothes

hamham: nice im ready to leave with some breadsticks

aburr: i stg alexander if u even think abt carrying out that meme i will murder u

hamham: damn burr okay

tjeffs: thats a p big threat aaron

jmads: yeah one would almost think

tjeffs: u meant it

aburr: look me in the face and tell me i could murder alexander

jlol: ud have a hard time doing it

literalgod: yeah hed fight u

largebagutte: hed murder ur reputation before u could ever murder him

hamham: tru

angel: i sometimes wonder why im friends w people who regularly talk about things like the possibilities of murdering our friend

elizard: its a little disconcerting 

pegs: one might say its a little bit

pegs: odd

literalgod: peggy u and john talk about murdering ppl all the time

jlol: that doesnt count im a med student

pegs: lol yeah im helping the boy figure out the cause of death

angel: thats disconcerting

hamham: anyway. death and murder aside, im hungry

hamham: and all i have in my dorm is three weeks worht of ramen

hamham: and some coffee

hamham: and i wanna bake some cookies but i have no Ingredients

hamham: so 

hamham: does anybody own flour or do i have to go to the store

tjeffs: i own baking utensils but no ingredients

angel: i have stuff for chocolate chip cookies if thats what u want

angel: thomas can bring his utensils

hamham: wonderful well have a baking party 

literalgod: john and i r going out so

literalgod: u can have ur baking party w/o us

aburr: pls just make sure u all make it to dinner

aburr: and bring some cookies w u

pegs: lol alright

jmads: can someone come help us carry the utensils to angies

hamham: i have a wagon u can use

jmads: first why

jmads: second pls bring it

hamham: i carried books around in it when i moved bc i had too many to physically carry in my arms

tjeffs: of course u did

largebaguette: thats endearing

hamham: thank u laf

hamham: also im at ur door w a beautiful red wagon

jmads: come in thomas is holding a kitchen aid and wont put it down

  
  


Alexander was greeted with a kitchen aid to the face when he walked into Thomas’ dorm. It was an odd experience, and not once he could say he’d had before. Thomas put the machine in the wagon and started dumping measuring cups into the mixing bowl. 

“Uh, why exactly do you have all this shit if you don’t even own flour? Like on a regular basis?”

“Sometimes I make brownies and then I need utensils so I bought them and now they sit in my dorm with me and wallow in disuse.”

“Alright I guess. You’re pulling the wagon by the way.”

Thomas nodded and grabbed the wagon’s handle with little protest. The three of them walked to Angelica’s dorm and were only asked one question about the wagon on the way there.

Angelica’s door was open and she was playing Chopin while clearing her table so they’d have somewhere to mix the ingredients together. She had several stacks of papers in her arms by now, and there were candles scattered on the floor along with a laptop and a single book. She greeted them with a nod and a smile, rolled her eyes when Alexander put on a more upbeat playlist to bake to.

“How is the Rent album going to help you do anything other than get sad?”

“You have to be sad when you bake, Angelica, it’s just simple etiquette.”

“Whatever you say, Alexander.”

All in all the baking was a relative success that resulted in zero burnt cookies, and they were on time to dinner with Theo and Aaron.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello, this chapter makes no sense and I can't write flirting because I myself cannot flirt, sorry

_ lolwtf _

 

largebaguette: guess what fuckers

jlol: ur coming back early

literalgod: u adopted a cat and ur smuggling it onto the plane w u

hamham: u forgot ur charger back in france but now u cant get it bc ur miles up in the air and you cant ask the pilot to turn around bc that would be rude

tjeffs: u forgot to call ur mom

jmads: u forgot to call ur dad

aburr: ur whole family u forgot to say goodbye to

angel: u have presents for all of us

pegs: u have ticket to see les mis

elizard: u brought back snacks from france

largebaguette: i called and said goodbye to everybody in my family excuse u

largebaguette: i dont have ticket to anything

largebaguette: i do have a cat but its not on the plane

largebaguette: i did forget my charger but i bought one at the airport

largebaguette: i am coming back early and also i would 100% ask the pilot to turn the fuck around if i felt it was important enough 

largebaguette: im actually at the college 

hamham: excuse me

hamham: excuse me why didnt u say this in the beginning monsieur 

jlol: 

jlol: laf wtf

literalgod: where r u

largebaguette: first entrance in the front

jlol: dont move and stay where u are well be down in five

largebaguette: lol okay

 

_ lolwtf has been changed to lafsbackagain _

 

hamham: wheres laf staying anyway

jlol: hes staying w herc n me

hamham: ohhoho?

jlol: alexander hamilton how dare u make suggestive ohos at me

hamham: lol i kid i kid

  
  


_ private conversation with hamham and jlol _

 

jlol: alexander im having a crisis

hamham: yeah

hamham: what sort of crisis

jlol: a love sort of crisis

hamham: lol alright what is it

jlol: i am very positive in thinking that i may or may not be in love w laf and also herc both of them at the same time

jlol: but u know herc n i already go out

jlol: and i love him but i also love laf

jlol: its confusing and i wanna be w both of them

jlol: at the same time

jlol: together

hamham: thats polyamory john

jlol: ik what it is

jlol: i just wanna know how to go about it

jlol: as in

jlol: how do i bring this up to laf and herc

jlol: as in how do u think they would feel

hamham: when ur in ur dorm just be like

hamham: hey guys u ever thought about

hamham: having a threesome but with a relationship and not sex unless u wanna have a sex threesome in which case 

jlol: having a threesome but w a relationship alexander r u serious

hamham: completely and totally 100% serious

jlol:

jlol: alright

 

_ lafsbackagain _

 

jlol: 

jlol: guys i gotta say

jlol: i gotta say that 

jlol: i am rly fucking gay

literalgod: lol we kno

largebaguette: yeah boyo

hamham: yes john

hamham: is there an update on ur gay tho

jlol: idk hamham is there?

hamham: laf?

hamham: herc?

largebaguette: ah, mes amis, we are, how u say, a threesome but with relationships 

hamham: holy shit u actually said that john im crying thats great

jlol: u told me to say it

tjeffs: while this is wonderful news

tjeffs: threesome but with a relationship? really

jlol: it was alexander’s idea

hamham: now i just feel like im being tattled on

tjeffs: im disappointed

tjeffs: u can debate the death penalty poetically but u can’t think of anything other than threesome but w a relationship to describe polyamory

jmads: im not surprised tbh

jmads: alexander isnt the most articulate when it comes to love

aburr: thats actually

aburr: only true when he speaks

hamham: im offended

hamham: truly and undeniably utterly offended

pegs: its tru tho

pegs: im sure if you actually liked someone you wouldn’t be able to flirt w them near as well as u could someone who u didnt like

hamham: r u questioning my abilities

hamham: is that a challenge

pegs: depends on how much ur willing to bet

hamham: name the terms

pegs: u gotta flirt w thomas, john, herc and laf and u have to do it well

pegs: 20$

hamham: fucking deal

hamham: u better be ready to give me 20 $ peggy

angel: im putting in 20$ on this too

elizard: same

elizard: both on the side of peggy

hamham: my own future best woman would go against me like this

hamham: 20$ says u cant get with maria before musical night

elizard: ur on

hamham: beautiful

  
  


_ private conversation with tjeffs and jmads _

 

tjeffs: james

tjeffs: james im having a crisis

jmads: does this involve the recent bet

tjeffs: perhaps it does

tjeffs: does it matter if it does

jmads: i mean id be able to help more if i knew what it was abt

tjeffs: ,,, hypothetically if it was perhaps abt the recent bet

jmads: then, hypothetically, i would tell u not to worry abt it thomas

jmads: it will turn out in the end

jmads: idk how itll turn out but itll turn out

tjeffs: that helps so much  wow

jmads: hey

jmads: if this was, hypothetically about ur crush on one of our friends

jmads: i would, hypothetically say that, hypothetically, it will work out in the end

jmads: but ur both too stubborn to admit it so itll take a while

jmads: if ur catching my hypothetical drift

tjeffs:

tjeffs: i appreciate u as a friend

jmads: ik

 

_ lafsbackagain _

 

hamham: hello

hamham: my name is elder price

tjeffs: hamilton no

hamham: thomas u wound me

hamham: thomas, truly, why do u do this to me

tjeffs: bc ur a piece of shit and i dont want to read the entire script of the book of mormon

hamham: how oculd u 

hamham: of all people,  the one who i care most about, be so cruel to me, care so little for me

tjeffs: hamilton what r u doing

hamham: idk what r u doing

tjeffs: ?

hamham: ah so ur confused how cute

tjeffs: oh nvm

hamham: so you have it figured out

tjeffs: i do

hamham: do u wanna get coffee

tjeffs: depends on when

hamham: right now

tjeffs: it’s four am

hamham: yeah

tjeffs: okay

hamham: meet me outside in five

hamham: also bring a coat its cold im freezing ive been out here for hours

tjeffs: jfc alexander

hamham: yeah but will u bring me a coat or smtg please

hamham: i beg u


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there is a likely not accurate representation of medication taking here, to let you know, personally I have never experienced this, though I do often forget to take what I need to take  
> also this chapter is pretty short

Thomas handed Alexander a muted gray hoodie and he pulled it over his head as soon as it was in his hands. The hoodie was big on him, the sleeves were bundled at his wrists and almost hung off of his shoulders instead of sitting on them. The coffee shop was a block or two away and the two walked huddled in on themselves against the wind. 

The coffee shop was welcoming, warm and smelling strongly of cinnamon. Soft classical music played somewhere in the back, and the movements of the workers were unhurried and almost leisurely. There were three other people in the shop, one of them reading a book and the other two seeming to write an essay, all while sipping their respective drinks periodically. Thomas went up to the register and ordered for the both of them.

“Hi, one caramel macchiato and one white chocolate mocha, please.”

Alexander made a dissatisfied hum from behind Thomas, but otherwise didn’t complain at the ,man’s straying from his usual black coffee. The barista nodded, didn't ask their names, and told them they could sit down while they waited for their drinks.

“Yours is the white chocolate mocha, by the way, Alexander.” There was something in the way he said Alexander that may have made Alex’s breath hitch. Maybe. Alexander nodded and pulled the hoodie sleeves over his fingers, rubbing his now covered hands together and then blowing on them. The coffees are ready moments after they sit, and Thomas retrieves both of them, leaving Alexander to look after him with a slightly dumbstruck look. 

 

_ private conversation with jlol _

 

jlol: i am looking at you sitting with tjeffs atm

jlol: i can’t believe my boy is in love!!!

jlol: look at that

jlol: doe eyes and hoodie sharing already

hamham: john

hamham: please

jlol: lol yeah ikik

jlol: im w herc n we’re going downtown if u guys wanna meet us after ur date

jlol: tell thomas

jlol: im gonna stare at you until you give me a thumbs up

 

Alex relayed the information to Thomas, who nodded, and gave John a thumbs up through the window. His eyes were starting to droop despite the overly sweet coffee, and the hoodie was warm enough that Alex very well could have fallen asleep right then and there if it weren’t for Thomas’s silent laughing. He glared at the taller man and waited for him to say something.

“You really should sleep more, Alexander. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s grand to see you like this, rather endearing, really, but come on.”

“I appreciate that you think I’m endearing, Thomas, but now that you’ve said I should get more sleep, I am never sleeping again, ever.”

“Alexander, I will literally come over to your dorm and personally make sure you sleep if you look even remotely tired tomorrow.”

“Ha, how are you gonna do that? What on this godforsaken planet would you do to take care of me, hm, Thomas? Why do you even want to?”

“Okay, I’m going to ignore that self deprecation for now, and because I care about you, I will make you some nice SleepyTime tea and then I will ask you why you aren’t taking your meds.”

Alexander looked confused for a moment, “Oh, fuck. Shit, dude, what the hell. Why didn’t anybody remind me, what the fuck? I need to go home right now, let’s go.” Alexander said all of this in a single rush of breath and picked up his coffee. He grabbed Thomas’s hand when he was through with waiting and walked briskly out onto the now snowing sidewalk. 

“What do you mean nobody’s reminded you?”

“I’m very bad at things, and taking things I need to take, and doing things I need to do in general, are very difficult for me, and sometimes people remind me, and sometimes they don’t. Anyway, yeah, we gotta go. Text the group chat for me and also tell them that I am fine and did Not, with a capital N, have a panic attack or anything, nor am I in the process of having one, or anything-”

“Alexander, breathe, man. We’re going, I’m texting, we’re getting whatever you need, and then we’re going to go to my dorm and take a nap because I like my bed better than the on in your dorm.”

So they do, and Alexander takes his medication and he and Thomas take a five hour nap in Thomas’s bed.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> theres a bloody nose in this and a (very) vague description of a panic attack

_ afsbackagain _

 

hamham: can someone remind me to set a reminder on my phone for my meds

hamham: please

tjeffs: ???just do it now ham

hamham: 

hamham: u right

jlol: oh my god

elizard: havent we told u to do this before?

hamham: u may have

hamham: idk

angel: we have

literalgod: i literally set u a reminder once

largebaguette: as did i

hamham:

hamham: was this on my old phone bc i may or may not have literally broke that one in half after u guys did stuff w it

jlol: only u alexander only u

aburr: how did u break it in half tho???

hamham: remember flip phones

jlol: alex ur hands and fingers r too small n fragile to do that

hamham: no yeah but i tried and then i realized it was Not Working

hamham: and i dropped it

hamham: and it broke in two

hamham: no shattered glass or anything just two pieces of a phone

jmads: its tru i was there

tjeffs: ??? that’s confusing and beautiful

jlol: alexander

pegs: lol dude wtf

hamham: anyway i have a meds reminder now

tjeffs: good for u ham

jmads: indeed

hamham: thank u despite the fact that i think one of u fuckers is being sarcastic

hamham: im tired

tjeffs: literally go to sleep

jlol: yeah alex go to sleep

pegs: boi yeah u need it

pegs: i bet u 10$ u can’t take a two hour nap  before class

hamham:

hamham: alright see u in class and goodnight

  
  


lolwtf

 

hamham: pay up motherfuckers

peggy: wait really

peggy: i don’t even have 10$

hamham: neither do i pegs

jlol: i don’t think most of us have a single dollar folks

largebaguette: i might have ten dollars in pennies

hamham:

hamham: do i want to know why?

largebaguette: i pick them up whenever i see them

hamham: okay

tjeffs: i have ten dollars but im not allowed to use it

hamham: dude why 

hamham: u come from a rich family why can’t u use the money what’s the point of being rich

tjeffs: i may or may not have angered my grandmother, who is in charge of the bank account and i am now barred from the bank account my family made for me

jmads: he has 54 cents in his personal bank account if that gives u perspective on anything

hamham: i feel like that’s more than i have atm so ur doing p good at being poor tommy

tjeffs: don’t call me tommy

tjeffs: and thank u i like to think i know what i’m doing

hamham: lol alright tommy

tjeffs:

tjeffs: im just gonna stop trying 

pegs: good idea jeffs

literalgod: quite

hamham: anyway instead of money u can get me a coffee from the cafeteria

pegs: can do can do can i send angel w my dollars tho

hamham: yeah man

angel: 

angel: u better hurry ur ass up then bc i am Leaving right now

jlol: lol bye alex

 

lolwtf

 

angel: i want u to know that alexander hamilton just dumped like ten packets of sugar into his styrofoam cup of coffee

angel: i expected him to down it black

angel: but no

angel: it is a sweetened abomination

jlol: oh yeah he only drinks it black when he hasnt slept or is in a hurry

jlol: or if its the cheapest option and he doesnt have money

tjeffs: he had a white chocolate mocha when we got coffee

jlol: did he now

tjeffs: ?? uh yeah??

hamham: im sorry i like not spending money john jesus

hamham: also it was good

hamham: very sweet

hamham: normally when i go there i get black coffee bc i wanna be Caffeinated to the Extreme

jmads: we know alexander

literalgod: we really really do

literalgod: how much did u sleep alex

hamham: idk

hamham: prolly four ish hours

hamham: as a nap not in total

hamham: in total too much

hamham: i think im getting sick

tjeffs: u seem fine

hamham: do i really tho

jlol: when do u ever alex

hamham: tru

hamham: but being completely serious

hamham: my nose is bleeding and i don’t know why and its on my cup and also hands and how do you get blood off of a hoodie

largebaguette: soak in cold water first and then ill come over and get it out for you

largebaguette: right now u need to find angie again

largebaguette: because you are panicking

hamham: my hands are shaking

largebaguette: i know

jmads: thomas is bringing u an extra hoodie alexander

hamham: nice nice 

largebaguette: tell thomas to take u to johns when u see him

hamham: will do

 

Alexander handed his cup to Thomas as soon as he saw him. The coffee sloshed over the side a little bit, staining the white of the styrofoam and off brown color. Thomas handed Alex his hoodie and waited as he put it on, handing his stained one to Thomas. He held a tissue to his nose the entire time he did this, hands sticky with blood and fingers stained red from the almost soaking tissue. He grabbed a new tissue from the counter and Thomas grabbed his free hand to guide him to John’s dorm.

“I wanna go to Target.” Alex said, sitting on the couch with his head down and pinching the bridge of his nose. His voice sounded nasally and slightly strained. 

“Alex you are bleeding on the floor.” John said and handed him a new tissue. 

“I’ll take you to Target when you stop dying.” Thomas told him. Alex hummed and took the tissue John handed him. He tried to lay back but Lafayette stopped him.

“Alexander do you want to cough up blood? No? Then stay as you were.”

Alex nodded and moved back to his previous position. Lafayette patted his back in what was supposed to be reassuring, but made Alex flinch anyway. “I rather think I’m dying.”

“Alexander if you were dying your last words would not be ‘I rather think I’m dying’ that’s just not how it works.” 

“Okay.” Alexander paused for a beat, “I want to go to sleep.”

“Is your nose still bleeding?” John asked. 

Alex pulled the tissue from under his nose and took a clean one to see if he was still bleeding. “Sort of.” he mumbled and laid his head against Thomas’s shoulder, face still looking down. 

“Stick a tissue in your nose and go to sleep, then, Alex.”

“I won’t be able to breath. I need to breath.”

“I know, Alex, you’ll be fine.”

“I wanna go to Target.”

John looked at both Thomas and Lafayette- Hercules was in a class at the time- and shrugged. Thomas sighed, “If you get off of me I can take you to Target and we can get whatever it is you need.”

Alex seemed to consider before nodding and removing his head from Thomas’s general being before grabbing on to his shoulder again to help himself stand. “I think I should maybe get some medicine. And tea. Do you have tea, John? I don’t know where Burr is and I don’t think we have tea?”

“I don’t have tea, Alex, you’ll have to buy some when you go to Target.”

“Okay. See you.”

 

lolwtf

 

largebaguette: sick alex is a needy baby i feek

elizard: lol yeah he is

elizard: hes clingy when hes sick

elizard: and when he admits it hes even more clingy

jlol: thomas took him to target

angel: why???

pegs: he needs to Rest

jlol: he really wanted to go 

jlol: and tea

aburr: tell him theres lemon tea in the cabinet above the microwave

jlol: call thomas

angel: isnt he driving

literalgod: i dont think alex likes lemon tea

largebaguette: no he likes tea with honey i know but idk what kind of tea he likes

pegs: chamomile and earl gray

jlol: sound abt right

tjeffs: alex is upset that he an burr only have lemon tea and also want to know Why

tjeffs: specifically in all caps

aburr: i think it was there when we moved in but idk

tjeffs: he didn’t acknowledge it and hes petting a pillow now

aburr: sounds about right

jmads: are u buying the pillow

tjeffs:

tjeffs: its a possibility

jmads: are u buying everything he wants

tjeffs:

jmads: thomas u have 54 cents

tjeffs: 

tjeffs: i do but i also have a credit card that hasnt expired

angel: ur whipped my boy

tjeffs: idk what ur talking about

tjeffs: im buying a sick child a pillow and tea

pegs: with a credit card

pegs: despite the fact that youve been previously barred from your family bank account

angel: whille ur there he like the scones they have

angel: in the general food section

angel: just a heads up

tjeffs:

tjeffs: okay

pegs: lol

jlol: while ur there i need pencils if u would kindly buy them for me ill give u three $ when u get back

tjeffs: alright but im expecting that 3$ front and center as soon as i walk through ur door 

jlol: of course


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had to repost this bc there was a malfunction?? or smtg idk it deleted tho but here it is again my friends  
> tell me if there's anything wrong w it in case it did a weird again!!! thank u and i appreciate u a lot!!!!

lafsbackagain has been changed to ???

 

tjeffs: alex says he can’t have certain ingrediants w his meds

tjeffs: n idk what they are

jlol: avoid tryptophan, alcohol, st johns wort, melatonin, ephedra, S-adenosylmethionine, fiber (a lot of it), also excess amounts of caffeine (he actually limits his coffee intake surprisingly, to let u know), lithium, benzodiazepines

tjeffs: u kno what im just gonna pick up some medicine and ask if he can take it

tjeffs: is baby cold medicine okay like the generic one

jlol: it should be? skim the ingrediants rly quick

tjeffs: alright alright

tjeffs: it looks fine

jlol: send me a picture

tjeffs: imageattatchment.jpg

jlol: should be fine

tjeffs: cool cool

 

???

 

angel: i sometimes wonder how alex managed to cut back on his caffeine

angel: like high school boy would legit down three redbulls and a 12 oz coffee in an hour

angel: now he only does the redbull with coffee thing in moderation

angel: im so proud

pegs: tbh tho

elizard: not gonna lie it was worrying when he didn’t have a risk of developing serotonin syndrome

largebaguette: it was indeed

literalgod: he’s been good abt his caffeine since they had him switch to fluoxetine

literalgod: i think its done him good

tjeffs: i think he need to let go of my arm

angel: lol r u still at target

tjeffs: yes

tjeffs: and he has Attached himself to my arm

tjeffs: i think he’s sleeping tbh

jlol: ha

jlol: u should take a picture jeffs

tjefffs: i can’t lift my arm any more than to see the screen i Can Not

angel: boo

jmads: u should buy some cookies while ur still there

tjeffs: buddy i got all the snacks

elizard: thomas u are Broke

tjeffs: my grandma only cancelled my debit card eliza dearest

tjeffs: i can use the credit card one time and then get a call and then never again

angel: and u deny being whipped

tjeffs: idk what im denying if im not saying anything at all

angel: okay thomas

 

???

 

tjeffs: hi

tjeffs: quick question

tjeffs: how does one remove a one Alexander Hamilton from the backseat of a car without waking them

angel: lol

elizard: u r fresh outta luck my dude

pegs: dude just like????

pegs: pick him up

pegs: physically pick him up carry him bridal style outta there

jlol: oh boy

jmads: this is going to be one eventful day

aburr: it’s only 3 in the afternoon guys what, with all due respect, the fuck

jmads: alex and thomas were in the Target for literal Hours

tjeffs: actually we went other places too

jlol: like where

tjeffs: like the starbucks in the target

tjeffs: and i had to get gas

tjeffs: then i went to the bank to get my credit card cancelled

tjeffs: now we’re here and alex has like

tjeffs: three stuffed animals courtesy of my grandmother

tjeffs: also i need someone to let me into their dorm

jlol: just come by here again

tjeffs: i’m expecting my three dollars btw

jlol: of course my dude

largebaguette: i will open the door and u will walk in and set alex on the couch

largebaguette: john will give you three dollars

largebaguette: you will hand john his pencils

largebaguette: then we’ll all have a nice quiet movie

literalgod: what are we watching thats quiet exactly

largebaguette: we’re gonna watch tangled

elizard: are we invited if we’re all quiet

largebaguette: but of course my dearest eliza

angel: i’ll bring some face masks n other stuff for alex and the rest of us when he wakes up

pegs: i’m bringing the muffins i made

elizard: i’ll bring more disney movies

jmads: i’ll bring my shining personality

aburr: theo’s coming too 

 

The movie was half over by the time Alex woke up and he was immediately told to just watch the movie instead of getting up. 

“What if I have to like, go to the bathroom or puke or something?”

“Then get up.”

Alex nodded, shrugged, sank into the couch. The movie was at the part where Mother Gothel gets Eugen’s old crime partners to help her get Rapunzel back by bribing them with the crown. Peggy hands him a blueberry muffin and Angelica passes sheet masks out to everyone in the room. 

“Since I’m apparently not allowed to get up except to puke or use the bathroom in any way, will someone please make me tea?” Alex asked the group, panda themed sheet mask already on his face. 

“I guess.” Thomas said, “John do you have anything to make strawberry shortcake with?”

“I have strawberries and I have half a can of whipped cream, nothing else though.”

 

Thomas comes back with a mug of tea, the strawberries, and the can of whipped cream. He handed everyone a paper plate to put the strawberries on and they passed the whipped cream can around until it was completely empty. By then Alex had finished his tea and they had put Hercules in as their movie. Hercules laughed and continued to grin throughout half of the movie before nodding off.

 

??? has been changed to !!!

 

jlol: hello everybody on this cold fall day

jlol: i found a whole kitten

jlol: in a box outside of a walmart

jlol: and we own a kitten now nobody tell the authorities

hamham: thats beautiful whats its name

jlol: its name is quesadilla 

hamham: thats the most magnificent thing ive ever had the pleasure of hearing

tjeffs: how r u gonna get it in here

jlol: yeah

jlol: thats where u guys come in

jlol: u get me past authorities and into the room 

jlol: or rather alex hides the kitten in his hoodie bc lets face it 

jlol: they are two sizes too big a kitten would not be noticed

hamham: im down see u in five

 

!!!

 

jlol: have i ever told u guys how much i absolutely love every one of u

jlol: but mostly quesadilla

jlol: she gets the most love she is my newborn child

hamham: are the rest of us like her estranged relatives

jlol: indeed

tjeffs: jemmy bought kitten food and a bowl n stuff

tjeffs: u should let us in

literalgod: we need to get an apartment

literalgod: guys do u all wanna get an apartment together we can split the rent evenly between us

hamham: yes

angel: yeah

elizard: i am all for this

pegs: definately

jmads: im down

tjeffs: so am i but where will we all sleep

jlol: u kno that anime osomatsu-san

jlol: like that

jlol: we’re all gonna bring our matresses(which we will either buy or take) and push them against each other

jlol: and sleep like a giant spooning

hamham: lol alright

jlol: and we don’t need a tv bc we all have laptops

jlol: and thomas has cooking supplies for some reason so thats good

largebaguette: theres one for rent a few block away

largebaguette: and im going to go look at it and pay the first months rent

largebaguette: bc i have money from being one step down from french royalty

largebaguette: and then when im in france u can split the rent n stuff

hamham: laf im crying there r tears

hamham: don’t tell them how many ppl r gonna be there

jlol: yeah theyll refuse just say its u and like two others

largebaguette: i don’t think they have an explicit limit as long as no rules r being broken on the ppl there

hamham: wow

largebaguette: at least i didn’t see one when i looked

tjeffs: tell us what u find out when u look at it

largebaguette: will do


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright folks i have finals coming up, so there will likely be a pause in updating until either the end of december or the beginning of january (maybe sooner, depending on the circumstances) so!! thank u all who left comments and kudos i really appreciate it! and i'll try to have a few chapters ready to update when everything is done and over with!!

!!!

 

hamham: hello everybody WebMD tells me im gonna die so ill see u in class can someone bring me a whole bottle of cold medicine i cant breathe

hamham: and my nose started bleeding again so im just gonna wear the same hoodie

hamham: until it stops doing that

tjeffs: ur a mess ham

hamham: thats what webmd told me too wow

jmads: jesus man why r u going to class ur typing sound delirious

hamham: i! have! work! to! do!!!!!

tjeffs: we know

literalgod: if u so much as sneez in debate i will literally carry u out of that goddamn classroom

largebaguette: gwash would approve too

largebaguette: also the apartment is a go but i need to sign it n stuff so thatll be a week or two

hamham: nice and no wash would not approve

angel: yes he would

tjeffs: u kno he would ham

hamham:

hamham: anyway

jlol: lol

hamham: im Dying™

hamham: and none of u r helping

tjeffs: burr literally just opened the door for jemmy and i

tjeffs: bur ur too invested in ur improbable death that u didnt notice

tjeffs: we have cold medicine

jmads: we also have tea courtesy of thomas

hamham: thank u would u kindly make that while i put clothes on

hamham: and put it in a travel mug pls

hamham: maybe pour the cold medicine in there too

hamham: can u do that? is that okay or does that kill u

jlol: thats not okay take the dose and thats it

hamham: lol alright

 

!!!

 

jlol: alexander hamilton has fallen asleep in debate, breaking news, alexander hamilton has fallen asleep in debate

angel: good

elizard: he should take a day off of school, really, this is worrisome

tjeffs: he’s fine, tho, he just has a cold and is too stubborn to do anything about it

jlol: u right

literalgod: i think we should all take a day off to convince him to stay in with us

jmads: good idea, a few flaws tho

jmads: how

tjeffs: turn off his alarm and when he wakes up tell him school was cancelled bc the internets been shut down

pegs: beautiful

largebaguette: brilliant

angel: r we all just gonna be in his dorm?? is aaron going to agree to this??

aburr: sure

angel: alright then, let’s go

 

!!!

 

hamham: i want you all to know that i hate you with a passion

hamham: i had shit to do today

hamham: and now im just

hamham: here at 10 in the morning

hamham: unable to leave bc i will be manhandled back 

tjeffs: stop being mad abt it ur sick

jlol: yeah alex u need REST

elizard: and we all brought snacks

pegs: yeah and vitamin water so u get hydration and vitamins and electrolytes

largebaguette: also we already told all of ur teachers and gwash so they kno whats up

largebaguette: some of them arent okay w it but they know whats up

largegod: most of them dont care bc theyll finally have a quiet class

hamham: okay wow i am offended

jmads: u shouldn’t be

hamham:

hamham: 

jlol: i think u should get some rest

hamham: if im getting rest then ur all, each of u individually, buying me dinner on seperate nights

largebaguette: alright

jlol: im down

literalgod: im just gonna speak for all of us here and say okay

literalgod: even if someone doesnt want to majority rules

jmads: if we dont want to take him to dinner can we take him to another meal

hamham: absolutely

hamham: im always down for free food

jlol: alex u never let anybody pay for u what r u talking abt

hamham: sure i do

hamham: thomas bought me stuff

tjeffs: u were sick and delirious and u asked me to take everything back until i explained how i bought it

hmaham:

hamham: u got me there

  
  


!!!

 

hamham: im bored

jlol: play poker w us

hamham: dont want to 

hamham: gambling is Bad

jlol: were not gambling were just playing poker

hamham: lol alright

hamham: what do we have to eat

elizard: i brought fudge and cookies

angel: theres the stuff in ur cabinets too

pegs: vitamin water

pegs: boost ur electrolytes alex, boost them

tjeffs: jemmy brought a box cheeze-its

literalgod: laf has a shitton of rice crispie treats

hamham: i want the crispie treats of rice thanks where r they

largebaguette: i gotta get them from johns

hamham: okay then

hamham: how does one play poker


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i want you all to know that im still in high school and the only thing i know about college and apartments is that i have to file my FAFSA soon, thank you and happy new year (i hope you go calmly into your 2018, and that you can keep some of your resolutions if you have any, drink lots of water and eat a lot of bread even if you haven't consumed any alcohol bc bread and water are both good tbh, anyway, i hope its a good (or at least a little better) year)

!!!

largebaguette: so

largebaguette: we have an apartment now

largebaguette: we just have to get the kitten and everything else into it as soon as possible

largebaguette: bc im p sure ppl r suspecting at this point

hamham: alright lets go

hamham: right now

tjeffs: its four in the morning?

hamham: ur up? whats ur point

hamham: ur up im up lafs up we can get the kitten n other stuff to an apartment

tjeffs: i guess

jmads: im coming with

jlol: im pretty sure we all are if were up tbh

angel: im going back to sleep as soon as we get the mattresses on the floor

elizard: tbh same

pegs: lol im not 

pegs: i got shit to do, essays to write

pegs: a test to study for

hamham: what class tho

pegs: econ

hamham: ill help u make flashcards n shit

pegs: alexander hamilton you are the light of my life

hamham: i know

hamham: anyway 

hamham: lets go

 

The apartment was small, but enough for all of them to live in relative comfort. There were two bathrooms, each with a shower and one with a bath, and there was a bedroom that would fit four of them, and the living room would fit five of them until Angelica and Eliza moved into their own place with Peggy- which they were planning on doing once Angelica graduates, and Lafayette will be back in France in a few months, so it would just be the eight of them instead of the nine of them (Aaron had decided to stay in the dorm, away from all of them, and, specifically, Hamilton and Jefferson’s debates). It was a cozy apartment, in Alexander’s opinion- though he hadn’t been in very many apartments (he was mostly changing houses as he changed families when he was still in the foster system). The kitchen came equipped with a slightly outdated fridge, and a gas stove, several cabinets, a double sink, some drawers, and a single window peering out to the oncoming traffic of the city. The bedroom had two windows, and was mostly bare except for a fairly large closet and a dresser with a mirror that Lafayette had taken to the apartment first to get it out of the way. The plan was they would each have their own section of the closet until space ran out, then they would use clothing racks, and each person had a designated dresser drawer for their socks, underwear, and whatever else they wanted to put in the drawer. All in all, they developed a good system. All they needed to do now was cover one side of the bedroom with mattresses on top of box springs from wall to wall, see how many of them could fit comfortably (it was all of them, they didn’t need anybody to sleep in the living room), and bring in the couches and other living accessories they’d acquired over their years of living.  
“My favorite thing about this is that we basically have a mattress floor.” Alexander said, standing on the yellow couch- John’s- to screw in a lightbulb. Thomas hummed from the blue sofa- James’s- and tried to rearrange the coffee table with his foot, but was largely unsuccessful, so he got up to move it instead. John asked if they wanted pizza, and if so how much and of what- and don’t tell him to get pineapple because he doesn’t think he can physically bring himself to ask for it. None of them wanted pineapple- the only one who liked Hawaiian was Aaron, and he didn’t live with them.  
The sleeping arrangement was this: Angelica, Eliza, Peggy, John, Hercules, Lafayette, James, Thomas, Alexander- this is because neither Angelica or Alexander wanted to be in the middle of anybody, and besides, Alex had to sleep by the wall- it’s just how things worked, he said. Thomas had rolled his eyes as the rest of them pulled numbers to see who was sleeping where, and the doorbell rang as they were doing this. John answered the door with the numbered paper still in his hand.  
“Having a party?” the pizza person asked, staring at the paper slip and at the amount of people in the apartment.   
“You could say that, yeah.” John grinned and handed the person money, taking the pizza from them and closing the door behind him.

!!!

jlol: i don’t think we’ll be ordering pizza from that place for a while

hamham: why?

jlol: idk i just fell like

jlol: this many ppl all the time ordering pizza in a small apartment, kinda werid

hamham: true

tjeffs: are we going to be making food then or getting like,,, microwave dinners

jmads: if we get microwave dinners im quitting

jmads: ill go back to the dorm

jmads: i dont even care that i wont see quesadilla

jlol: hey

jlol: hey

jlol: dont say that around quesadilla

hamham: yeah jimmy thats rude

hamham: cant believe u wouldnt stay for quesadilla

largebaguette: truly a disappointment

largebaguette: i agree w u on the micrwave dinner thing tho

largebaguette: ill make u all dinner and u can fend for urself everytime else

tjeffs: we could make a dinner schedule u kno

hamham: none of the families i was with taught me how to do anything other than eggs and grilled cheese, and like, noodles n stuff

tjeffs: how are u a legal adult wtf

hamham: its not my fault

hamham: i generally just survived on the bare minimum i wasnt gonna be making steak in the foster system u kno

jlol: im gonna teach u how to cook

jlol: not like fancy cook but like

jlol: basic home cook

angel: ill teach u too

tjeffs: tbh same

hamham: also where did u put my meds like which cabinet

hamham: bc i gotta take a dose now 

tjeffs: theyre in the second bathroom cabinet the one w the sea shell tile

hamham: thank u thomas, u life saver

tjeffs: okay

tjeffs: ur welcome ? 

angel: just accept the thanks thomas

jlol: yeah man not something to question

tjeffs: okay

!!!

hamham: do u ever think abt how we ordered a pizza at like,,, 8 in the morning on a saturday

hamham: bc like,,, we did that

tjeffs: go back to sleep alexander or i will take ur phone and throw it across the room

hamham: shut up ur on ur phone too u could have just physically spoke that to me

hamham: but no, thomas jefferson texts threats to me instead of saying them

 

Thomas rolled his eyes, dropped his phone on the bed in the little space between him and Alexander and reached over to take his phone. Alexander gasped, turned to look at Thomas.  
“I’m not gonna throw it if you go back to sleep, Alex.” Thomas mumbled, eyes already half closed. Alexander sighed, grinned. “Alright,” he mumbled, let Thomas turn his phone off and closed his eyes without going back to sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello its been a while (?) but!! i just started school again last week and ive been Busy but!! im back now (with less frequent updates, but still) and i hope youve had a good january so far

!!!

 

hamham: we have an apartment now

hamham: we’re living breathing beings who live in an apartment of our own

hamham: not meant for this many people but its fine!!!!!

hamham: we can go grocery shopping together and have potlucks and stuff !!!

elizard: !!!! we can make it out own !!!

elizard: and have plants and photos and paintings

elizard: and a fridge bigger than my torso !!!!

angel: and actually good coffee

tjeffs: and not random ass students running down out hallway with chef boyarde and a blanket as a cape

hamham:

hamham: do i wanna know if that was one of us

jlol: prolly not tbh

pegs: it wasn’t it was one of the kids alex tutors actually

pegs: phillip texted me telling me he couldn’t find alex one day

pegs: and that all he had was a “got dang can of chef boyarde and a blue ass blanket”

hamham: ha yeah that sounds like phillip the scoundrel

hamham: i would die for that kid hes wonderful

elizard: i would die for phillip too tbh

angel: we would all die for phillip

jlol: true

literalgod: i would definitely take at least ten bullet for him

tjeffs: idk who phillip is 

jmads: he hangs out in the library thomas uve met him and spoken to him

tjeffs: really?

jmads: yeah he has a face full of freckles and long hair

tjeffs: oh

tjeffs: i would die for that kid tf

hamham: honestly hes great he pays me to tutor him by giving me coffee and other snacks

hamham: one time he just

hamham: dumped 50 different gift card onto my person

hamham: hes a spectacle of human creation that one

elizard: he really is

!!!

 

jlol: guys I can’t wait till summer wtf

hamham: same

hamham: i want to be warm and not filled with ice

tjeffs: why are you filled with ice

hamham: because im cold!!! all the time!!!! and it needs to be warm!!!!

tjeffs: we have a heater?? that makes the place warm???

hamham: not the same

hamham: plus i want grapefruits and mangoes and stuff

jlol: same

literalgod: i want some peace and quiet because it is 4 in the the Morning

largebaguette: shhhh

hamham: whatever

hamham: im going to make breakfast

jlol: lol im coming with u

hamham: everybody else can come too if they’re hungry

hamham: im making pancakes

tjeffs: you should make coffee too

hamham: literally who the hell do you think i am tf

tjeffs: ur right

tjeffs: im coming to the kitchen w u

jmads: don’t make a lot of noise we r all trying to sleep

jmads: like normal human beings

hamham: got u

!!!

 

pegs: im in class rn okay

pegs: and this absolute madman of a prof

pegs: just straight up bought us all iced coffees

pegs: which im assuming is why she asked abt our coffee prefs the other day but

pegs: i just received a large iced coffee from my psych professor 

hamham: whos ur prof

pegs: she’s this wonderful woman from france and shes called Dr. Moreau 

pegs: she’s wonderful nd her accent is hot

hamham: do u think i could like

hamham: pick up a psych class this lat into the semester or ////

tjeffs: no

tjeffs: u can show up tho

pegs: lol yeah u could just sit in on the class

pegs: there’s so many of us she wouldnt notice probably 

pegs: if u were quiet

hamham: lol alright alright

largebaguette: she sounds wonderful

largebaguette: but how much did she spend on coffee

pegs: idk 

literalgod: wow okay

angel: i mean it’s great that shes like

angel: being nice but also

angel: thats so much money for a class

elizard: it rly is

jmads: not if it was very heavily discounted

jlol: maybe she made it and just bought the cups from amazon 

tjeffs: tbh i would do that

hamham: i want iced coffee

jlol: go buy some then ??

hamham: i can’t drive john

hamham: and it’s Cold outside

tjeffs: ill take u later 

hamham: thats wonderful thank u i appreciate ur existence so much

jmads: u should/// buy groceries too

hamham: if u all fork over at least 10 $ then sure

angel: alright thats fair

angel: but did u never learn how to drive or

hamham: no i can drive probably just not legally

hamham: its prbably not the best decision if i do drive

hamham: i never even got a permit

hamham: i should probably do that but i can walk everywhere i need to

hamham: and theres the metro

hamham: also this is ultimately more environmentally friendly than if i did drive

angel: true

elizard: can u get saltine crackers and egg noodles and carrots and also flour actually ill just write u a list

tjeffs: lol alright

jlol: i want pain au chocolat

jlol: so does laf but i have his phone rn

pegs: why??

jlol: he was annoying me so i took it

hamham: lol did he show u those fkn conspiracy videos

jlol: yes

jlol: he did

literalgod: u should get cherries

literalgod: and other fruits like strawberries and tangerines 

literalgod: also get whipped cream

hamham: everybody just write down what they want and we’ll compile it into a collective list before we leave

jlol: alright alright

angel: can u get skincare items too

angel: and pads/tampons

hamham: yeah put it on the list tho

hamham: i will Forget otherwise

!!!

 

hamham: i love target so much

hamham: its such a good and versatile place

hamham: food, paint, furniture, skincare, cosmetics

hamham: vitamin water acai blueberry pomegranate flavor

hamham: a sense of not rly being on earth

hamham: wonderful

tjeffs: uve been standing in the middle of the chip aisl for like five minutes

hamham: shush

angel: well

angel: u should hurry up bc its ur turn to make dinner 

angel: and its already like

angel: five in the afternoon

angel: and were all done w classes just chillin

angel: quesadilla needs more food too btw

hamham: yeah we’ll be there soon


	12. not a chapter

Okay, so. I haven't had time to really write anything as of late, so- this is a semi-official hiatus lasting maybe a month or two. At the end of this hiatus I will hopefully present you with two to three full chapters, or an apology letter written in the format of a Shakespearean Sonnet- and I'm not good at writing sonnets in general, so I hope I follow through on the posting chapters thing. Anyway. I'm sorry to all of those who have been enjoying this story so far. There will be a very Short chapter after this note as a thank you.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alex is setting a bad example if you take any medication whatsoever, do not neglect to refill your prescription when you need to!!!! it's unhealthy not to!! and I know it's easy to forget to take your meds, and to refill them in some cases, but your medication helps you!!! also!! if any of you nice folks need to talk tell me in the comments and I'll post my tumblr url in the comments and you can message me if you need to!!! everything might be a lot right now, and you might be in pain mentally or physically, but in the end it will be okay, you can make it to tomorrow and you can make it to the next day, to the next year. you can make it until you're 87 years old and you die in your sleep of old age. you can make it!!

!!! has been changed to hmmm

hmmm

hamham: u guys ever just like

hamham: think about death

hamham: extensively

tjeffs: r u okay ham

hamham: what

hamham: yeah im great

hamham: just a question

angel: did u take ur meds

hamham: i ran out

hamham: but!! im okay!! 

hamham: really!!

jlol: alex

largebaguette: petit lion, you might want to get those refilled

hamham: i know

hamham: i don’t knwo

hamham: ill see u guys in debate

literalgod: if u cant go and refill them id be happy to

literalgod: i have to go to cvs anyway

hamham: ill tell u later

hamham: see u

elizard: stay safe

 

hmmm

tjeffs: I

tjeffs: am vaguely worried

jmads: we all r

tjeffs: he isnt answering me

tjeffs: he was fine yesterday

tjeffs: shit

angel: it’s okay

angel: we’ll make it okay

pegs: i stg i will fight anyone who looks at alex wrong

elizard: i dont think thats what he needs but 

literalgod: i refilled his prescription btw

largebaguette: im making buttered noodles and regular spaghetti tonight

largebaguette: im making homemade garlic bread

jlol: quesadilla is mia she was just here n now shes gone

jlol: alex took a big ass to-go mug of coffee this morning

elizard: did u look under the couch by the radiator

elizard: she likes the warmth

 

private conversation with tjeffs and hamham

tjeffs: please tell me ur okay

hamham:

hamham: sometimes i choke when i try to speak and

hamham: i can’t breathe, and

hamham: sometimes i physically can’t do anything

hamham: and sometimes im actively writing my goddamn will in my mind

hamham: like it’s my last fucking days on this planet

hamham: but sometimes it’s jsut blank

hamham: and that’s this

hamham: so u don’t have to worry

tjeffs: 

tjeffs: do u wanna go somewhere quiet

tjeffs: i can show u this little pond i used to go to when i was a kid

tjeffs: it was nice ther  
e  
hamham: u grew up in virginia thomas we r in new york

tjeffs: we traveled a lot

tjeffs: it was the only place i liked

tjeffs: its not in the city but

hamham: sure

 

hmmm

tjeffs: im taking ham to a pond to let u all kno

jlol: holy fukc okay

jlol: thats good

literalgod: text us when u get back

tjeffs: will do


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!! hiatus is technically over, but I'll be uploading at severely irregular intervals bc i'm studying for the SATs and the ACTs and also all of my AP classes, so. But!!! This is an early valentines present, along with the chapter after this (sort of).

The pond is quiet. The water is clear and there are some ripples from the fish. It seems like it’s from another world, and the grass is greener. Thomas sends a picnic blanket billowing to the ground and sets a basket onto the middle of it. Alex looks around and there is a sense of calm. He doesn’t want to talk, really, but he wouldn’t mind just sitting here in silence. With Thomas. And a whole ass picnic, apparently. 

“So, if you don’t wanna talk, like, I get it. Man, but, uh. Shit, talk to me if you want to. I won’t force you to do anything, but…”

“I got it, Tommy. Thanks for the whole full scale picnic, though, man, the fuck.”

“Oh. Yeah, yeah. There’s a variation of cheese and fruit in there. And some fucking vitamin water, too. There’s also bubbling grape juice because I can’t legally buy champagne yet.”

“Shit, dude, you were gonna get fuckin’ champagne? That’s not like a date at all, Thomas, really?”

“This isn’t a date. It’s an ‘I really actually care about actual mess of a man Alexander Hamilton, and fuck I want him to be okay’ thing.”

“Fuck. Shit, man, you know I think I kind of love you sometimes.”

“Okay. Okay, cool. Cool. Um. Cool.”

“I’ll elaborate another time. For now, just I don’t know, get me back to okay.”

“Yeah. Yeah, okay.”

The blanket is covered in a sunflower print and Alex is, for some reason, reminded of Tangled. He laughs, unchecked and free. Thomas looks at him, and he feels his cheeks flush slightly. His pupils might dilate, but he’s not sure because he can’t see his own pupils at the moment. It’s nice, Alex thinks. Thomas places two plates onto the blanket, then hands Alex a vitamin water. The assortment of cheeses includes: mozzarella, brie, cheddar, and several others Alex can’t name because he doesn’t research cheese in his spare time. The fruit includes: pomegranates, apples, peaches, various citrus fruits, and some berries. Alex isn’t sure where Thomas is getting all of this fruit and cheese, or if he just has it for some reason, but he’s pretty sure peaches aren’t in season right now. 

The pond is quiet, but there’s a single swan in the middle of it. “Hey, Thomas,” Alex started, “Did you think about how it’s kind of the middle of winter?”

“Yeah, and?”

“It’s cold as shit, my man. The fuck. Why isn’t that pond frozen?”

“Oh, yeah. I don’t know. I’ve never seen it freeze before. Maybe it’s a hot spring.”

“In New York? Just outside of the city? I doubt it.”

“Maybe it’s, fuckin’, I don’t know, magic or some shit.”

“Do you believe in magic, Thomas?”

“No, I was joking. Why the fuck would it be magic, Alex?”

“I don’t fucking know, man. Maybe we’re actually participating in the Harry Potter universe right now, but we don’t know it.”

“Shut up and eat your damn cheese, Ham.”

Alexander rolled his eyes, but did just that anyway. It was silent for a good ten minutes. “You know,” Thomas said “I think I might love you sometimes, too. And I’m not just saying that, but we can talk about it later.”

“Okay. That’s cool. Cool cool cool. Cool cool.”

“This is a development I wasn’t expecting to be honest.”

“What were you expecting?”

“I guess for you to maybe, I don’t know, not declare that you love me. Or for me to do the same to you. I don’t even know if it’s romantic, fuck.”

“Which one?”

“Both.”

“Ha, same, man. We’re on the same boat. Anyway, we should go get coffee or something I am absolutely freezing my nipples off here.”

“Jesus, Alex, it’s not even that cold. It’s like, fucking, thirty degrees maybe.”

“That’s below freezing, Thomas.”

“We’re in New York! We’ve had Code Blues while you’ve been here!”

“Yeah, and? I haven’t gone outside in the cold since I got here, pretty much.”

“Yes you have?”

“Not long enough for it to matter.”

“Fine, okay. Yeah. Let’s go get coffee.”

 


	15. Chapter 15

hmmm has been changed to valentinesboi

 

hamham: what is up fuckers

hamham: do u kno what time it is

hamham: its time for a got diddly dang history lesson

hamham: valentines day actually has a pretty bloody history, and Emperor Claudius II executed two men, both called St Valentine on Feb 14, and the catholic church was like shit we gotta honor these fuckers, so St Valentine’s day was a thing. also the Romans kind of did this thing from the 13 to the 15 where they like sacrificed animals and then hit women with the hides of those animals to grant them fertility or some shit then later billy shakes and chaucer romanticized it in their works and it became commercialized in 1913 by good old hallmark, and now it’s p much just a commercial holiday where ppl buy a ton of shit for their s/o’s etc. to show their love (despite being able to do that literally any other time) and discounted chocolates the day after

tjeffs:

tjeffs: i want to know why you know this but then again i dont

jlol: i do wtf alex

literalgod: that was beautiful

angel: im still getting u chocolates idc if u don’t like the holiday

elizard: tbh same

pegs: i just like how pretty everything is

jmads: i feel like a lot of ppl r sad on vday

largebaguette: oui, oui that is true

largebaguette: but thats bc they feel like they should have an s/o bc of some dumbass societal standard that nobody should follow bc it’s Toxic

hamham: lol yeah, thanks for coming to my TedTalk everybody, i appreciate ur contributions

aburr: alex u love valentines day

hamham: yeah, and?????

hamham: doesn’t mean i cant know and dislike what it stands for

aburr: ik im just saying

aburr: u legit made me an entire ass batch of heart shaped cookies last yr

hamham: ik and this yr im going to tell u all how much i love and appreciate u

hamham: and quesadilla, who will be getting heart shaped cat treats courtesy of a buzzfeed article i read the other day

hamham: i mean not rly courtesy of buzzfeed but 

tjeffs: ur making the cat heart shaped treats

tjeffs: 

hamham: do u have a fkn problem with it thomas?????

tjeffs: no it’s cute

jmads: i want heart shaped treats too

largebaguette: i want discounted chocolate of any kind and we’re all going out and getting it the moment vday ends

literalgod: that sounds wonderful

angel: i stg if u come back with literally 100 pounds of chocolate like last time im gonna kill a bitch

elizard: dont listen to her come back with 200 pounds of chocolate

pegs: or 300

pegs: go wild

angel: no dont go wild

angel: go calm

angel: ill send someone to supervise u

angel: ill supervise u

largebaguette: lol alright angie

  
  


private conversation with tjeffs and jmads

 

tjeffs: have i ever told u that

tjeffs: i might be kind of

tjeffs: in love with alex

jmads: i mean

jmads: probably not this upfront but yeah

tjeffs: okay, well

tjeffs: i might be and

tjeffs: hes so pretty???

tjeffs: like i could prolly fkn wax poetic about his eyes

jmads: thomas thats gay

tjeffs: jemmy im gay

tjeffs: im rly gay 

tjeffs: wow

tjeffs: im going to scream into a pillow rn see u

jmads: lol see u

 

valenitnesboi

 

angel: i

angel: am so fucking tired of this school

angel: these fuckers dont understand that i sort of have a life

hamham: lol same

elizard: hey at least we take turns shopping 

angel: yeah bc that gives me so much extra free time

pegs: i mean added up it will

hamham: anyway

hamham: on another, totally related note

hamham: i just realized

hamham: that i still have thomas’s hoodie from that time we got coffee

hamham: a few months ago

tjeffs: oh

 

tjeffs: i was looking for that like a week ago

hamham: do u want it back

hamham: bc im sort of wearing it rn currently

tjeffs: lol no just keep it man

angel: thats cute

pegs: i want donuts

pegs: we should get donuts

largebaguette: im willing to drive u to dds

hamham: did u just call dunkin dds

largebaguette: yeah

largebaguette: so???

hamham: thats 

hamham: hmm

tjeffs: i just wanna kno why u thot it was a good idea

hamham: i wanna kno why u spelled thought as thot

tjeffs: why not

tjeffs: theyre prnounced the same

largebaguette: at least i dont do that

jmads: okay but thot isnt as bad as the time alex forgot how to spell the

hamham: when tf was that

jmads: at like three in the morning

jmads: at a debate tournament

jmads: u were like

jmads: glued to thomas n ranting and then u had a spelling bee

jmads: and u spelled promiscuous right

jmads: but not the

tjeffs: lol that was fun

hamham: 

hamham: was i high

tjeffs: no

tjeffs: u were sleepy

hamham: thats such a nice word

hamham: sleepy

jlol: i think ur pretty sleepy now alex

hamham: it’s three in the afternoon john im not sleepy

jmads: i think sleepy is half ur personality tbh

hamham:

angel: dont try to deny it


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think this is long but i didn't check the length. it's prolly longer than it usually is tho!!! idk. anyway! this is a good vibes only chapter!!!

valentinesboi has been changed to Help

 

tjeffs: hello everybody

tjeffs: it is time to inform you

tjeffs: that

tjeffs: i may or may not be Out of my anxiety meds

tjeffs: and i cant like,,, Go anywhere

jmads: i picked up ur refill on the way home ill be there soon

tjeffs: ur an absolute life saver

tjeffs: im a mess

hamham: hey now

hamham: we cant be having mess competitions here

tjeffs:

tjeffs: im going to move close to u and take the blanket

tjeffs: and go to sleep

hamham: lol okay

hamham: ill wake u when jimmy gets back

 

Helo has been changed to DOG

 

jlol: i just saw a dog on the street

jlol: it was beautiful

jlol: his name is Mr Fluffykins

jlol: and I got to pet him

jlol: and he was fluffy

jlol: he earned his name

hamham: shit dude that sounds wonderful where is it

jlol: outside the 7/11

hamham: if its not there when i get there im gonna cry

hamham: real tears

hamham: im gonna run there

hamham: its the one down the street right

jlol: yeah

hamham: wonderful

hamham: see u fuckers later

tjeffs: i sort of want to

tjeffs: walk out of class for that dog

jmads: thomas no

literalgod: yeah thomas dont do that

largebaguette: i mean

largebaguette: i would but u shouldnt

angel: u rly shouldnt

angel: u can pet quesadilla when u get home

angel: then u can be domestic w the cat until liza come back

angel: bc its her turn to make dinner

elizard: yes it is and im making the best pasta

elizard: it gonna be so good

pegs: im excited !!!!!

pegs: i love pasta

hamham: image.jpg

hamham: !!!!!!!!

tjeffs:

tjeffs: i rly wish i just

tjeffs: walked out of class

tjeffs: we should get a dog

jlol: if we get a dog we have to get a turtle

hamham: i want a snake

largebaguette: i want a ferret

angel: i want enough money to feed one (1) animal

hamham:

hamham: u right

hamham: but a snake would be sick as fuck man

tjeffs: unless it gets out and suffocates us all while were sleeping

hamham: it wouldnt tho one of us is always awake while other ppl r sleeping

elizard: i want a bunny

pegs: i want a python

pegs: and a panther chameleon

pegs: but we can’t all get what we want

  


DOG has been changed to figiwater

 

tjeffs: have i ever told u guys

tjeffs: that im a fan of owl city

tjeffs: adam young is wonderfull

hamham: hes autistic too!!!!

hamham: hes great!!!

hamham: i love him!!!

tjeffs: hes honestly like

tjeffs: i would trust him even if he had a loaded gun to my head

pegs: tbh same

largebaguette: i made garlic bread!!!!!!

hamham: !!!!!

hamham: this is such a good day!!!!!

hamham: im honestly super excited

hamham: and i dont know why!!!!!

hamham: its great!!!!!

tjeffs: where r u tho

hamham:

tjeffs: r u in the blanket lump

hamham: howd u kno

tjeffs: when u get excited u flail ur whole body if ur laying down

tjeffs: and u did that

tjeffs: but also bc ur the only person in this apartment who doesnt suffocate under blankets

tjeffs: which honestly isnt fair

hamham: u gotta have a hole in the blanket fort/lump

hamham: for air

tjeffs:

tjeffs: okay

literalgod: !!!! anyway!!!!

literalgod: i just got 104% on my final project!!!!!!

literalgod: 104 !!!!!!!

hamham: i am so proud of u!!!!!!!!!!!

tjeffs: hes screaming

tjeffs: whatd u make??

literalgod: lol i made a ball gown inspired by the live action cinderella

literalgod: but w more flare

literalgod: more drama

largebaguette: !!!!! u will have three garlic breads tonight !!!!!

literalgod: !!!!!

elizard: my favorite thing is when this happens

elizard: all the !!!!s make me so happy

pegs: !!!!!!

elizard: !!!!!

angel: !!!!! anyway i bought ice cream and im gonna be home in five

angel: so if one of u could open the door

tjeffs: ham literally just

tjeffs: zoomed outta here

jmads: hes at the door now

jmads: looking out the peep hole thing

jmads: hes on his toes bc he cant actually see out of it if hes just standing normally

angel: thats wonderful

angel: this is wonderful

 

figiwater

 

hamham: so

hamham: i was taking a walk right

hamham: and its

hamham: 2 45 in the afternoon

hamham: there is snow on the ground and its rly fkn bright bc its white and it reflects the got dam light

hamham: or some shit

hamham: and there were these two old women

hamham: and they absolutely beamed when they saw each other and then they exchanged roses

hamham: it was beautiful there were tears in my eyes

hamham: this was like yesterday i think idk

tjeffs: that was a ride i cant believe ur angry at the snow

hamham: its bright!!!! it makes my eyes hurt

jlol: i wanna be those old ladies when i grow old

literalgod: john we already r those old ladies

largebaguette: i was gonna argue but

literalgod: u cant bc its true

jlol:

jlo: u right

elizard: anyway

elizard: imetagirl

angel: she met a girl

elizard: and u kno her bc she was at the musical night

elizard: and shes maria and

elizard: she asked me on a date!!!!

pegs: !!!! where ????

elizard: to a little coffee shop called the Nyx

hamham: !!!!!! thats wonderful holy hell

literalgod: what r u gonna wear

elizard: !!! i got a new dress the other day and its blue and it has a sweetheart neckline and its nice

elizard: and!!! i got matching shoes!!!

largebaguette: Nice!!!!

hamham: tell us how it goes!!!!!

angel: in detail this is great

angel: u cant spare any detail

elizard: !!! okay !!!!

elizard: i gtg bc the date !!!! is soon !!! and shes picking me up !!!!!!!

jmads: have fun !!!!


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!!! this one is happy and involves people being in love with each other and with life and etc.!!!!

figiwater

 

tjeffs: i want a chocolate rose

hamham: ?? like a rose dipped in chocolate or

hamham: a rose shaped chocolate

tjeffs: the second one

hamham: i didnt kno they made those

largebaguette: well

largebaguette: guess who just bought a literal dozen chocolate roses

tjeffs: !!!!!

tjeffs: laf i love u

jmads: i think hes crying

tjeffs: they r happy tears jemmy shut up

hamham: hey

hamham: have u seen my glasses

elizard: last i saw they were on the microwave

jlol: i saw them by the coffee pot

literalgod: i saw them on the table but that was yesterday

hamham:

hamham: do u guys wanna help me find my glasses

tjeffs: i think theyre in the room

tjeffs: i thought i saw them on the dresser

hamham:

hamham: have i ever told u that ur a life saver

tjeffs: once or twice

hamham: okay

hamham: i can see now

jmads: how were u typing before

angel: he has the keyboard on most things muscle memorized

pegs: he does its wild

pegs: like have u physically seen him type when he has a deadline to make

pegs: i saw my life flash before my eyes

hamham: i dont type that fast

hamham: i just happen to not type like a grandma

pegs: i dont type like a grandma excuse u

angel: u kinda do tho peggy

elizard: lol yeah u do the poke thing

pegs:

pegs: only when im tired tho

pegs: i type like a normal human being

angel: sounds fake but okay

pegs: i cant believe my own sister just memed me

pegs: in my own house

pegs: hurt and astounded

 

figiwater

 

hamham: have i ever told u guys

hamham: that i love u

hamham: all of u each and every single on individually and as a whole unit

hamham: ur all so wonderful!!!

hamham: i love u

jlol: im cryin alex i love u to

largebaguette: i!!!! love!!! u!!! too!!!!

literalgod: a single tear slipped down my cheek 

literalgod: i love u so much wow

jmads: thomas is honestly 100% crying rn but he says he loves u too

jmads: and so do i but he told me if i didnt tell u he loved u before i told u it then he would cough on me so

elizard: lol

elizard: !!!! ilysm alex u dont even kno

angel: honestly i cannot comprehend the amount of love that i have for u

pegs: tbh tho ur the best ily

hamham: i feel blessed in this chillis tonight oml

hamham: crying in the club rn

tjeffs: where r u i wanna hug u

hamham: im in the blankets

tjeffs: omw

 

figiwater

 

tjeffs: i love blanket forts

tjeffs: theyre great especially if i can breathe

hamham: i told u u need air holes

tjeffs: yeah and now there r 

tjeffs: so im not dying in the club

hamham: u amaze me sometimes honestly

elizard: u amaze me w ur pining

angel: thats rude but yeah

hamham: first

hamham: im not pining i would kno if i was pining

hamham: second

hamham: were watching breakfast club 

hamham: and u cant come in bc u think im pining and thats illegal here

pegs: oml thats so dramatic

hamham: u arent allowed either and neither are the rest of u bc i kno what ur thinking u shitfucks

jlol: lol okay alex

largebaguette: yeah we can just do what we normally do

largebaguette: speaking of what do u all want from the starbuck

hamham: i want a white chocolate mocha

jmads: i want tea pls

tjeffs: i want a caramel frappe

largebaguette: thank u i already kno the rest of ur orders

largebaguette: im getting everybody croissants too

hamham: i love u but u still cant come in the fort

hamham: its officially only mine and thomas’s now

hamham: no take backs

hamham: ill make a group one later

hamham: and we can legally watch black panther soon

jlol: !!!!

hamham: !!!!

 

figiwater has been changed to blackmail

jlol: image-jpg

angel: ha

jmads: okay i mean rly tho if theyre sleeping practically on top of each other what is the point in denial

jlol: maybe they just really believe in egypt

pegs: john one day i am going to rip out your esophagus

jlol: id rather if u didnt

largebaguette: they r asleep but i have theyre coffee and croissants

literalgod: u could wake them up

largebaguette: non

largebaguette: that is rude

largebaguette: i will leave their coffee inside the fort and alex can yell at me later

elizard: im gonna put a heart around them and save it as my phone lock screen and then im gonna take another and save it as my home screen

angel: thats wonderful we should all have one

pegs: lets print it out

jlol: thats a bit too much peggy

pegs: is it tho

pegs: theyll know all of this anyway so

pegs: its fine

jlol: they dont know it if we spam tho

pegs: …

pegs: u right here we go

pegs: a

jlol: b

angel: c

-cut for length-

 

blackmail has been changed to hmm

 

hamham: i feel like something happened

hamham: and i am perfectly willing to go thru the alphabet and rick astley lyrics to find out

hamham: so see u in a bit

jlol: hes gonna give up in 2 mins tops

tjeffs: idk hes still goin

tjeffs: not even mad abt the notifs

jmads: there is at least a weeks worth of content to go through

hamham: anyway

hamham: thanks for the coffee and cwoissants tho laf

largebaguette: why would u spell croissant like that

largebaguette: that just lacks taste

hamham: yeah

hamham: well

hamham: i dont rly have much taste to begin w so

tjeffs: ur not wrong

hamham: i want u to think abt what u just said bc u literally hang out w me all the time

hamham: and u legit have the same exact taste as i do

tjeffs: maybe

jmads: he has worse taste

jmads: macchese and fuschia

jlol: u r absolutely right 

jlol: how can one man eat so much mac n cheese

hamham: honestly

hamham: i mean i prolly could but

hamham: do i want to

hamham: no

tjeffs: i will collapse this fort hamilton

hamham: ur in this fort dumbass

tjeffs: u think i would collapse it while im in here?

hamham: honestly 

hamham: absolutely

tjeffs:

hamham: i stg if u walk out of this fort i will tackle u

tjeffs: im like three feet taller than u r

hamham: no ur like half a foot taller than me shut up

pegs: if one of u says make me im going to call the cops

hamham: u dont even like the cops peggy shut ur mouth

pegs: yeah but u dont like them more so 

pegs: checkmate bitch

hamham:

hamham: thats not how that works

pegs: check

pegs: mate

 

hmm has been changed to 50!s

 

hamham: i am a happy person this fine saturday morning

angel: alex it is 

angel: 7 in the morning

hamham: and im happy

angel: okay

angel: be happy with someone else privately pls i need to sleep sorry

hamham: okay !

 

private conversation between tjeffs and hamham

 

hamham: i am very happy this morning

tjeffs: thats good but

tjeffs: were legit right next to each other

hamham: i kno but u were sleeping

tjeffs: do u want pancakes

hamham: i want blueberry and banana pancakes

tjeffs: separately or together

hamham: im content w either

 

Thomas feels his chest tighten with something akin to fondness and he pushes it back until he’s only sort of staring at Alex. He needs to make the pancakes, anyway. He steps over Alex before the other man has the chance to move and makes his way to the kitchen. He wonders what would happen if he kissed him, how he would react. He would ask first, obviously, but. Still. His mind wanders and he hasn’t turned the stove on but there’s somebody grabbing his hands and pressing their lips to his knuckles. Thomas lowers his gaze to see Alexander, right there, a small smile on his face and joy in his eyes. 

“Thanks. For everything, by the way. Mostly the pancakes you’re going to make.”

Thomas almost chokes, but says “You’re welcome,” all the same. He begins to mix the batter and Alexander begins to hum a song that sounds familiar, but Thomas can’t quite place it.

“It’s called Banana Pancakes. I think it was in Curious George, or… no, that was another song. It’s by the same guy though.”

Thomas can’t help himself, he laughs. And Alex laughs. And soon enough they’re both laughing and there’s a single pancake in the skillet on the stove and then they’re closer together than they were a few minutes ago, and Thomas’s breath catches in his throat. And then somebody knocks on the kitchen wall, but it’s only James and he just wants a pancake. Alex takes a small step back so Thomas can flip the pancake on the skillet, but he stays close. Thomas doesn’t think he ever wants him to go. James rolls his eyes in the background.

 

50!s

 

hamham: i !! am !!! still !!!! very !!!!! happy !!!!!!

angel: thats great!!!! im glad

elizard: arent u in a class rn

hamham: yeah

elizard: im glad ur happy but

elizard: u should pay attention midterms are coming up

hamham:

hamham: u right

 

conversation with: hamham, jlol, largebaguette, and literalgod

 

hamham: hi i think im in love

jlol: is that why ur so happy?

jlol: are u gonna say who it is or r u still gonna omit his name even tho we all kno

largebaguette: what made u come to this conclusion, mon ami

hamham: well

hamham: idk hes just rly nice and pretty and he has soft hands

literlgod: r u gonna tell him

hamham: i may have (sort of) already done that (kind of not rly)

jlol: ???

hamham: i told him i think im in love w him and he said it back and then

hamham: we mutually agreed we would talk abt it later

largebaguette: !!!!!!

literalgod: r u gonna talk abt it soon

hamham: aaaaa idk

hamham: i mean

hamham: hes wonderful and kind but also like

hamham: im not rly ~ready~ for a relationship 

hamham: i dont think

jlol: lol thats okay alex take these things slow

jlol: im glad ur happy 

jlol: i hope ur happy together someday

hamham: im crying in the middle of my govt class

largebaguette: honestly u guys would be good to each other

largebaguette: u tread lightly with purpose around each other

hamham: how do u think hed react if i called him babe

jlol: i think hed spontaneously combust and then come back to call u something even sweeter

hamham: what hes gonna come back and call me fkn

hamham: sugerplum or some shit

jlol: maybe

literalgod: hed call u darling

literalgod: all day every day 

literalgod: whos alex? i only know darling

hamham: aaaaaaaaaa

hamham: ur right tho

largebaguette: being 100 percent serious here

largebaguette: he would literally carve a marble statue in ur likeness 

largebaguette: and present it to u with a bouquet of roses and chocolate

largebaguette: if he had money for the marble

hamham: stopppp

jlol: ud prolly write a sonnet abt him and then hed combust 

jlol: because thats just how he reacts to things

hamham: u right

hamham: im gonna listen to the teacher now

jlol: no ur not

hamham: shut up


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!! this depicts a shutdown (minorly??) as well as some minor self deprecation as a warning. i hope u all enjoy it and that you have a fantastic rest of the week

50!s has been changed to billyshakes

 

tjeffs: william shakespeare is an asshole

hamham: wow why u so hostile toward billy shakes man

hamham: most of his plays were p alright

tjeffs: idk

tjeffs: do u think anybody understood those words he made up

tjeffs: or stole from women’s correspondence with their friends idk

hamham: the women did

jlol: ur not even an english major thomas why r u so made abt shakespeare

tjeffs: i was reading hamlet

jlol:

jlol: okay

largebaguette: do u think he ever thought his dick jokes were gonna be taught in public schools

hamham: no

elizard: i think hes laughing in his grave 

elizard: or wherever his head is

angel: i think his ghost sits in the back of high school lit classes

angel: and makes rude comments abt the reading and interpretation of his plays

hamham: u r absolutely right

jlol: honestly he probably sits in the teachers desk

jlol: i think hed be proud of how far weve come in writing

jlol: like shitposts and twitter rants

jlol: hed love that

pegs: probably

pegs: anyway

pegs: i am maybe locked in the radio/tv room

hamham:

hamham: why

pegs: the door closed and it was locked

pegs: or its stuck bc the doors r only locked on the outside bc of fire hazards

largebaguette: do u want me to come get u

pegs: if u would be so kind thatd be great

jlol: im bringing tacos 

pegs: thats even better im starving

  
  


billyshakes

 

hamham: anyway everybody coco made me cry and im very happy/sad now

tjeffs: whyd u cry if ur happy tho

hamham: its just!!! such a beautiful movie!!! im love it

jlol: honestly i one hundred percent burst into tears when i first saw it

largebaguette: if u say anythimg at all abt the plot i will murder u as u sleep

tjeffs: ur gonna cry 

largebaguette: I!! Know!!

largebaguette: im gonna bring three boxes of kleenex

 

billyshakes

 

hamham: hi i just impulse bought three tangles on amazon

hamham: also a generalized box of fidgets

hamham: i spent like 15$ total tho so

tjeffs: i would ask why but

jmads: u legit just bought rice crispy treats in bulk u cant talk abt anything

hamham:

hamham: why

tjeffs: theyre good

tjeffs: and it had good revews and im getting like 300 individual rice crispy treats for like 30$

tjeffs: that i literally found in one of my coat pockets the other day

hamham: i only had 15 extra dollars to spend bc maria got me a part time at the coffee shop she works at

hamham: and by part time i mean i worked for four  hours yesterday and they paid me in cash

tjeffs:

tjeffs: can we all get part times at maria’s place of work

elizard: u can probably

elizard: i doubt the entire group would be able to unless theyre like

elizard: desperately understaffed

hamham: oh they are

hamham: but its the night shift so 

hamham: also maria told me im only allowed to work two days a week

hamham: and there need to be at least one day between those days

hamham: dunno why tho its a rly weird schedule

angel: its bc u would work all week and then you would work more

angel: bc u can’t go to sleep unless uve done ur hw

angel: it was a good idea on her part

hamham:

jlol: shes right alex

largebaguette: i got a job at the library

largebaguette: and i told them thomas wanted a job too so

largebaguette: ur gonna get an email from the library staff soon

tjeffs:

tjeffs: thanks? so much

tjeffs: ur talking abt the school library right

largebaguette: oui oui

tjeffs: wonderful

jlol: i should get a job

literalgod: john ur a med student u dont need a job

literalgod: u need more rest not more stress

largebaguette: oui oui mon ami u shouldnt get a job bc u will Die   


jlol: i mean i wont die but

jlol: u have a Point

 

billyshakes

 

hamham: hello everybody it is

hamham: four in the afternoon

hamham: i am in a class

hamham: and i am Overwhelmed and

hamham: i can’t put my headphones on bc

hamham: this fucker is giving a lecture

tjeffs: i can do a 325 if u want

hamham: i forgot what we said that was bc my head is full of fog

hamham: but yes pls thank you

tjeffs: its where i get john and we calmly walk into your classroom

tjeffs: and ask ur prof if we can take u out for a project or smtg

hamham: wonderful pls do that

angel: im home now so ill get ur calm down stuff

angel: and ill put in tangled

hamham: wonderful im going to stop typing now

 

Once 325 was commenced and the three of them were in the mostly empty hallway, Alex hummed for a set number of seconds (20). 

“Can I touch you?” Thomas asked, hand hovering over Alex’s own hand. Alex nodded and Thomas took his hand in his own, rubbing circles on it with his thumb.

“Angel says she made your favorite food, if you’re up for eating it,” John said. Alex hummed in response

Their apartment was dimly lit with the Tangled menu screen on the TV and Angelica was in the process of plating a late lunch for everybody, consisting of some roasted vegetables (mostly carrots, but other things they had in the fridge as well) and past with two different sauces to choose from- alfredo and tomato sauces, as well as an option of just buttered noodles.

 

billyshakes

 

largebaguette: hows alex doing rn

tjeffs: he fell asleep

tjeffs: with a bowl of noodles in his lap

jlol: not gonna end well on everybody’s end here

angel: tru

angel:  ill put it on the counter

tjeffs: a life saver

literalgod: why didnt one of u just?? move it

jlol: alex is p much on top of jeffs

jlol: and im currently immobile bc of quesadilla

literalgod: that makes sense

jmads: im at the store apart from tampons/pads does anybody need anything

jlol: alex said he wanted a stuffed bat toy but ur not gonna find that at target till halloween

tjeffs: i need new pencils

tjeffs: and pens if u would jemmy

jmads: i would

tjeffs: ur wonderful thank u

largebaguette: could u get assorted spices too

largebaguette: like garlic n salt n pepper and basil and thyme n shit

largebaguette: bring all the spices home

largebaguette: every single one ill give u $$ when u get back pls

jmads:

jmads: okay but u have to explain to me why when i get back too

largebaguette: its just bc were out of spices

literalgod: quesadilla knocked over laf’s whole spice rack the other day

jmads: ohh okay

  
  


billyshakes

 

hamham: lol s o r r y folks

jlol: for what

hamham: my general being the past two days or so tbh

tjeffs: ur apology has been politely declined, thank you for shopping with 1-800-don’tsaysorry

hamham: okay im not taking the sorry back and there is nothing you can do about it

hamham: so

elizard: if ur sorry for ur general being we all have to be sorry for our general beings

elizard: bc we’ve all had problems we had to face whether they were internal or external

elizard: and we’ve all gotten help from each other

elizard: so, with your reasoning, we all have to say sorry right now

elizard: ill start

elizard: im sorry

tjeffs: im sorry

jlol: im sorry

jmads: im sorry

angel: im sorry

pegs: im sorry

aburr: im sorry (i actually am i should prbably answer u guys more than i do)

largebaguette: im sorry

literalgod: im sorry

hamham: okay i get ur point and i understand but

hamham: now that weve all said sorry u cant tell me i have no reason to say sorry so

tjeffs: that was literally the whole point of what we just did ham

hamham: oh well went right past me sorry

tjeffs: oml

tjeffs: anyway on another completely related topic

tjeffs: im in a class rn 

tjeffs: with fuckin george king

tjeffs: and he just

tjeffs: going off at the prof abt how he’s getting the vikings all wrong

tjeffs: its honestly wonderful

hamham: whats he saying is he right

tjeffs: hes right

hamham: wow cant believe it

hamham: did u record it

tjeffs: yeah

jmads: i was going to tell u to pay attention but theres honestly no point


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> king george is in this one for a bit// stay safe and make good decisions pls, don't drink and drive etc. i hope u have a good week and a good start to spring if ur living where it's spring!! pick some daffodils!! unless u have allergies!! have a good time!!!

billyshakes

 

hamham: can u ssend me the recordning

hamham: actually can we hook it up to the aux

hamham: i just wanna know what hes saying about the vikings !!!

hamham: honestly i want to personally thank him for calling the prof out on their shit

tjeffs: we can put it on the aux when were all together

tjeffs: ill tell him u said thanks

largebaguette: r we inviting geroge king to the gc

largebaguette: bc w all this praise i feel like thats where were going w this

tjeffs: idk

hamham: prolly not tbh unless he suddenly starts being a decent human being

hamham: not in favor of bad forms of government

hamham: not that a monarchy is bad just his idea of one is

hamham: he seems more like a conquer the earth and tell them they need him kinda guy u kno

tjeffs: 

tjeffs: he wants a monarchy is america????

hamham: hes british

hamham: honestly theyre doing better than we r at this point 

hamham: i mean obviously theyre still p bad but

hamham: at least they dont have hundreds of mass shootings per year u kno

angel: okay ur completely right but

angel: on another, unrelated note

angel: quesadilla keeps running into the table

jlol: lol what a dummy

jlol: shes so dumb i love her

jmads: honestly id die for quesadilla

jmads: no questions

hamham: id die for all of u

hamham: do u think george king would die for quesadilla

elizard: 1) i dont want u to die for me, or ever 2) yeah

pegs: id die for u too alex

hamham: thank u so much peggy that means the world to me

hamham: anyway i want to show a pic of quesadilla to gking so

hamham: lets add him to the gc for a total of ten minutes

tjeffs: i guess

largebaguette has added King to billyshakes

 

King: okay why is this chat called billyshakes

hamham: thomas got salty abt billy shakes

hamham: anyway

hamham: image.jpg

hamham: look at out kitten !! her name is quesadilla

King:

King: shes wonderful but

King: is this honestly why im in this gc or

hamham: well actually i wanted to thank u

hamham: for calling out ur prof abt the vikings

tjeffs: it was beautiful

tjeffs: truly

King: u legit punched me in the face yhe first time we had a conversation

hamham: u were being mean!!

King: was i? i didn't know honestly sorry

hamham: i cant remember exactly what u said but it was ableist so

King: oh

King: ik sorry doesnt like actuslly do anything but i truthfully am ive been trying to not do that aince i left my family home

hamham: lol its chill as long as you know what you find and r willing to change

hamham: but u 1000% deserved that punch

tjeffs: anyway

tjeffs: sorry to interrupt but

tjeffs: im going to the store and i need to know of 1) anybody wants anything 2) anybody wants to come with me pls

jmads: i would but i have classes to get to man

jlol: i want some mcfricken cantelopes my dude

hamham: i wanna go w u

King: do i need to be here anymore or can i leave??

hamham: u can leave if u want

hamham: ill kick u off the chat later

King: lol okay

angel: i want cookies

elizard: i want coffee creamer pls

pegs: i want a new phone charger 

tjeffs: im not buying u a ohone charger unless u give me 20$

pegs: deal

largebaguette: i want sparkling grape juice

tjeffs: i was going to ask why but honestly

largebaguette: i want to drink grape juice from a plastic champagne flute leave me alone

tjeffs: i didnt say anything 

tjeffs: tell ham to put on clothes other than joggers

hamham: thats the only clothes i own

tjeffs: borrow a pair of jeans were going to costco

hamham: o shit

hamham: do u have to dress nice at costco???

tjeffs: idk i havent been there in ages but my mom used to make us all put on nice clothes to go to costco so

hamham:

hamham: thats a good reason 

hamham: john im borrowing ur pants

jlol: alright bud

 

billyshakes had been changed to Costco™

hamham: costco is pretty lit

hamham: i didnt actually have to borrow johns pants tho bc everybody here looks like they just got back from yoga so

tjeffs: i told u i havent been there in a while

jlol: that sounds great we should all take a group trip to costco one day

largebaguette: honestly im down

literalgod: i, too, am down

angel: the entire schuyler family is always down for a trip to costco

pegs: dk how it would turn out w all of us tho

elizard: probably terribly

pegs: u right

jmads: laf n i made croissants btw

jmads: it was gruelling

jlol: it was fun to watch u keep folding the dough

jlol: i mean what i saw of it at least

jmads: it wasnt ideal

largebaguette: okay but now we have like twenty croissants sooo

largebaguette: were all winners here

literalgod: u didnt let quesadilla have any butter so there is one (1) loser here

jlol: she shouldnt eat butter anyway

jlol: the fat content is too high for her

jlol: thats why i bought catnip

hamham:

hamham: when did u do that???

jlol: yesterday

jlol: i planted it this morning in the window

jlol: in a planter by the window i mean

jlol: it should sprout soon

pegs: i cant wait to have a high as fuck cat running around in here

elizard: tbh same

elizard: im gonna send videos to maria

literalgod: were gonna get a weed cat john did u think about that

jlol: yeah

jlol: its great

hamham: anyway i snuck like twenty bottles of iced coffee into thomas’s cart at costco and he didnt notice until we were already checking out

tjeffs: i knew u were putting shut into the cart ham

hamham: okay but u didnt say anything until we were checking out

tjeffs:

tjeffs: okay ur right but still

jlol: what flavor

hamham: idk 

hamham: i picked one up every time i saw one

hamham: there was a coconut mocha or something in there ik that

pegs: i call dibs

angel: if theres a caramel one i want it

hamham: i got three caramel ones i think

hamham: and alot of french vanilla ones

hamham: also its cold out here

hamham: my hands r shaking

tjeffs: stop typing then

hamham: 

hamham: i mean ur completely right but now that youve told me to do that 

hamham: im honestly not going to 

hamham: anyway

jlol: jfc alex

hamham: hey u all kno what u got into when u decided to make the burr sir add me to ur friend group

jlol: i mean yeah

jlol: and it was beautiful

jlol: but u make bad decisions much more often than expected

aburr: u should have expected more

aburr: theo says hi btw

angel: hi theo!!

elizard: tell theo maria and i went on a date!!

pegs: tell theo that we should all go to costco together

aburr:

aburr: im not going to ask why 

aburr: ill tell her all of that

hamham: ask theo if she thinks thomas has the right to tell me what to do

aburr: she said it depends

hamham: tell theo her position as second maternal figure has been revoked

aburr: that will make her sad tho

hamham: she made me sad

hamham: what does it depends mean

aburr: probably that it depends on what he told u to do

hamham: he told me to stop typing bc my hands were shaking

aburr: she says u should have listened to him and also that shell be having a seperate conversation w u at an upcoming date

aburr: probably tuesday


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol okay this took a while. anyway, this is a long chapter (or it should be) and i'm thinking of maybe discontinuing this particular story to work on something else that i'll publish when i have more chapters of it!! BUT, if i do end up making more chapters for this i will post them, otherwise there will be no new chapters for this story

Costco™ has been changed to animal crossing

 

pegs: animal crossing is such a good game say aye if u agree

jlol: aye

angel: aye

hamham: aye

largebaguette: aye

literalgod: aye

elizard: aye

jmads: aye

tjeffs: aye

 

animal crossing

 

hamham: has anybody here ever had a strawberry latte

angel: ? no

hamham: theyre good this guy gave me one today

jlol: like??? just a random guy or???

hamham: being completely honest i think it was sam seabury

tjeffs: ??? that makes even less sense than a random guy tbh

hamham: ik

jmads: maybe it bc of george king??

hamham: i doubt it

hamham: i mean sam sea seems like an okay guy but

hamham: u dont just give people strawberry lattes for no reason

elizard: maybe he thinks ur cute

hamham: lol sam sea think im cute what a concept

hamham: on another note tho ive been listening to the same song on repeat for like three days now

pegs: r u not tired of it yet??

hamham: no its a good song

hamham: it sounds kinda like a folk song

hamham: its called kathleen

tjeffs: on another another note

tjeffs: i was at the library and they just

tjeffs: gave me like fifty blank calendar sheets

hamham:

hamham: like did they have a reason or,,,,?

tjeffs: idk

tjeffs: do i look disorganized??

jmads: yeah

tjeffs: shut up jemmy

hamham: maybe they think u like calendars 

 

animal crossing

 

angel: okay, the issue on the table, literally

angel: image.jpg

jlol: is that all alex’s ????

angel: yes

angel: he’s been at it for at least five hours now

angel: says its due in a day or so

angel: thomas gave him the water bottles

angel: and told him to take a shower so thats where he is now

jlol: this is what i miss when im in class wow

largebaguette: as a small consolation it wasnt fun

literalgod: he printed out the entirety of the US constitution

literalgod: and were running out of ink so he was upset bc some of it is gray and the rest of it is black

elizard: ill buy some on my way home

pegs: put a granola bar on his keyboard

pegs: and a bowl of grapes or something next to his water

jmads: turn the internet off

tjeffs: okay jemmy thats just rude i need the internet too

tjeffs: im gonna try and take him to like lunch or something

pegs: good idea

pegs: tell him he can work on his essay there if he wants to 

pegs: theres a better chance of him going then

tjeffs: peggy you are a goddess

Alexander walked out of the small bathroom with his hair, still wet, pulled into a low ponytail. The first thing he noticed when he sat back down at his laptop was how tired he was, physically and mentally. There was a granola bar on his keyboard which he smiled at, and a note attached to the masking tape covering the laptop’s camera. Basically an invitation to lunch at a small cafe in the University town, and he could bring his work if he so chose. He so chose and picked up his laptop, the papers he’d scattered around the coffee table, and the granola bar- he hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast and it was bordering on two o’clock.

Thomas was in the kitchen when Alexander knocked his knuckles on the countertop. Thomas looks up and grins, “So, lunch, then?” he asks. Alexander just nods in response and Thomas leads the way to his car.

The cafe is quiet, there aren’t many people there and it’s a cozy environment. Thomas sits at a booth near a window and Alexander follows suit, immediately opening his laptop and ignoring the chastising look Thomas gives him. He had to get this done, anyway, a little lunch date wasn’t going to stop him. Actually, a date  _ might  _ stop him, but since this was a date between friends and definitely not a date between people who were, per se, dating, then it was fine. Especially because this was Thomas Jefferson, anyway, and while they had both, sort of, come to terms with their feelings for each other, they also both understood each other. See, John would have closed Alex’s laptop immediately upon his opening it. Thomas let him work. It was nice.

Thomas had ordered Alex’s food for him- a grilled cheese sandwich made with mozzarella and tomato- because he knew the man wouldn’t bother to look up from his essay until he was finished with it. It was pathetically endearing, in a way, to Thomas. It wasn’t healthy, probably, but it was part of what made Alexander Alexander, so, in conclusion, really, Thomas was whipped. Alexander stopped typing when his sandwich came, thanking Thomas relentlessly for ordering it, but continued to stare at his screen nonetheless. 

It was a successful lunch, all in all.

  
  


private conversation between hamham and jlol

 

hamham: anyway

hamham: im in love

hamham: and finished with my essay but thats beside the point

hamham: thomas held my hand 

hamham: he opened his got diddly dang car door for me annnndd

hamham: he ordered me my food bc i was being a dick and woking on my essay

jlol: sounds like a ride

jlol: i feel like u should start talking abt ur relentless pining with the schuyler sisters tho

jlol: theyd give u better advice

jlol: or at least eliza and maybe angie would

jlol: peggy would just tell u to like

jlol: serenade him or some shit

hamham: u are absolutely right thank u and goodbye

 

private conversation with elizard, angel, pegs and hamham

 

hamham: hey so

hamham: im in love

elizard: !!!!! good for you !!!!!

hamham: !!!! idk what to do about it tho !!!!!

angel: tell him

angel: like text him and tell him

hamham: okay the thing about that is

hamham: i may have already told him a while ago and 

hamham: told him wed talk abt it later

pegs: lol talk about it now then

pegs: if ur so in love just talk about it

pegs: over text or in person or w/e

pegs: sing him a love song

elizard: tell him you wanna talk about it alex

elizard: u already went out for lunch so

elizard: and we’ll all leave if you want a private moment 

hamham: god you are an absolute life saver, a goddess, the best of women

elizard: lol go talk to him

 

private conversation with tjeffs and hamham

 

hamham: hey so

hamham: remember when i told you i was maybe kind of in love with you

hamham: can we talk about that

tjeffs: yeah

hamham: okay cool

hamham: im definitely in love with you sorry lol

tjeffs: why r u sorry im in love w u too dumbass

hamham: woooww

hamham: anyway

hamham: im very red rn

hamham: wow

tjeffs: if its any consolation so am i

hamham: eliza said theyd all leave if we wanted a “private moment”

hamham: dk what she was entailing buutt

hamham: do u want a private moment

tjeffs: fuck

tjeffs: yeah 

private conversation with elizard and hamham\

 

hamham: wed like a private moment please

elizard: will do

 

private conversation with tjeffs and hamham

 

hamham: private moment commencing

tjeffs: what a woman

hamham: honestly shes the best

hamham: i love you btw

tjeffs: i love you too btw

 

Private moment in action and Alexander and Thomas are just sitting together on the couch in the living room. “So, anyway,” Alex starts, “I love you. I’m in love with you, holy shit. I’m in love with you also can I kiss you?”

“Yes, yeah. Shit. I’m in love with you too, by the way, in case that hasn’t like, gotten across yet.”

“Cool. I’m gonna kiss you now.”

Alexander moves himself to face Thomas, then moves himself closer, puts his hands on the other man’s face, leans in. He kisses him and it tastes like rain and it tastes like sunshine, and honestly Alex doesn’t think he’ll be able to think straight after this for at least a week. Thomas nips his bottom lip and now there’s a tongue in his mouth and it’s so,  _ so,  _ different from the last time he’d kissed somebody it’s almost magical. Thomas’s hair is soft and his hands are wrapped around Alex’s waist, and Alex is basically sitting on Thomas’s lap at this point, and it’s slightly uncomfortable but he can’t bring himself to care.

“Anyway,” Alexander says once they had stopped kissing, “You wanna go on a date? Can we be boyfriends now?”

“Yeah, to both of those,” Thomas said, kissed him again, “It’s my turn to make dinner tonight.”

“If you make Mac ‘n’ Cheese I am divorcing you.”

“Okay, darlin’.” And Alex feels his stomach flip but he ignores it to glare at Thomas, who is taking a box of Mac ‘n’ Cheese out of the cabinet.

 

animal crossing

 

hamham: lol anyway i have a boyfriend now !!!!!

jlol: !!!!!!

jmads: its about time christ

hamhamm: but hes making mac n cheese so im divorcing him

tjeffs: :(((((

hamham: shut up

elizard: will he at least make it as a side dish

tjeffs: that was the plan in the first place

tjeffs: im making dinosaur chicken nuggets too

hamham: i love you im revoking the divorce

tjeffs: i love you too

tjeffs: im also making roasted vegetables bc the food pyramid

angel: it sounds wonderful tbh

angel: dont forget ot feed quesadilla

literalgod: hey um

literalgod: theres a package at the door adressed to alex

literalgod: and im pretty sure its just

literalgod: filled with books

literalgod: also that is from gwash

hamham: ha nice

hamham: he was supposed to give those to me like a week ago

literalgod: why ???

hamham: oh lol

hamham: bc martha couldn’t get the books to me as quickly as i needed her to 

hamham: so george did it

literlgod: okay but why

jlol: lol yeah alex why r u getting packages from the prof

hamham: oh they’re pretty much my adopted parents???

hamham: sort of

hamham: its complicated

hamham: theyre not officially my adopted parents bc they didn’t really fill out any papers

hamham: i just sort of lived with them during high school for the most part

hamham: theyre p chill

jlol: huh

largebaguette: all of that aside i have croissants to go with out dinner of dinosaur chicken nuggets and maccheese

angel: honestly wonderful\

pegs: anyway i want to be adopted by martha washington she seems great

hamham: she is !!! light of my life honestly

hamham: what a wonderful woman

jlol: okay being 100 percent honest rn

jlol: the washington family kind of scares me

jlol: and now i realize its bc gwash look like an angry dad

hamham: lol yeah he does

tjeffs: hey when did we get plastic champagne flutes

largebaguette: when i bought them to drink my sparkling grape juice out of

hamham:

hamham: can i have some of ur sparkling grape juice

largebaguette: lol yeah

largebaguette: ill be in the apartment w the girls soon

largebaguette: john is stuck at the library

 

animal crossing

 

tjeffs: anyway

tjeffs: im in love with an absolute idiot

jmads: what did he do??

tjeffs: image.jpg

jlol: ha

hamham: okay, for one

hamham: this was the best thing i could think of

hamham: for two,

hamham: would you kindly help me down

hamham: please im dying

largebaguette: what did you expect when you climbed onto the top of the fridge

largebaguette: honestly

hamham: i expected to get the good coffee and to be helped down

hamham: thank you very much

tjeffs: lol fine ur gonna have to jump tho

hamham: do i look like i dont know that as

jlol: feed quesadilla when you get down

hamham: will do

  
  


private conversation with jlol, largebaguette, and literalgod

 

jlol: i feel like i dont tell u how much i love u guys enough

jlol: sorry

largebaguette: no no no no john john

largebaguette: we know how much you love us !!

literalgod: yeah theres no need to be sorry about not being able to physically tell us all the time

literalgod: we know you love us and we love you too

literalgod: if youre worried theres no reason to be

largebaguette: but we can talk in person later if you want

jlol: god i love you guys

jlol: so much

jlol: there are barely words to explain it i

jlol: just wish i said it more 

largebaguette: i love you john

literalgod: i love u too

jlol: !!!! godh

jlol: we should go on a dinner date

jlol: at some point

largebaguette: !!! wonderful idea john !!

literalgod: yeah we could book a table at that new fancy italian restaurant

literalgod: down the street

jlol: !!!!!

 

animal crossing

 

angel: it has been three days since i last went to my yoga class

angel: bc i was avoiding this person i thought was cute

angel: and anyway

angel: what i wanted to say is that im going on a casual date

elizard: !!!!!!!!!!! 

elizard: good for you !!!!!

pegs: !!!! i hope you like it !!!

angel: so do i !!!   
angel: honestly im not sure if im into the whole romance thing yet but

angel: and im definitely not into the whole sex thing atm

angel: but shes cute !!! and shes sweet and kind

hamham: thats wonderful angie!!!!! 

tjeffs: im glad for u

jmads: ditto

jmads: its good to explore to find out more about your limits and what you like

jmads: but if you dont like it there is no reason for you to keep going

angel: thank you james

jmads: no prob

 

animal crossing has been changed to hmmm

 

hamham: lol anyway

hamham: im sad

tjeffs: do u kno why

tjeffs: did u take ur meds

tjeffs: drink enough water

tjeffs: whens the last time u drank water????

hamham: a few hours ago chill

hamham: idk

hamham: im not sad necessarily its just that there really isnt any other word to explain it

hamham: im not feeling much of anything atm

tjeffs: oh

tjeffs: do u need anything?

hamham: idk yet

elizard: well be here for u when u do!

angel: ditto

jlol: okay im rly sorry to be interrupting this but

jlol: image.jpg

jlol: i saw this cat on campus this morning

hamham: !!!!!!!

hamham: shes beautiful

jlol: she is 

largebaguette: does anybody want cookies

literalgod:

literalgod: how many cookies did u make

pegs: i want cookies

hamham: lol so do i give me that pleasure based happy chemical

jmads: how many cookies did you make?

largebaguette:

largebaguette: 4 dozen

tjeffs: jfc laf

tjeffs: why

largebaguette: umm

largebaguette: u wanted cookies and i knew everybody else would want some too


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol this is not a chapter, sorry folks! it's an announcement of sorts

Alright, so I've decided that I am going to (and will be able to, given the time and the weekend) take requests for one-shot type stories. The things I am most familiar with include:Harry Potter, Hamilton, The Raven Cycle, Gravity Falls, Over the Garden Wall, My Hero Academia (bnha), Spider Man and some of the other marvel movies (Iron Man, CaptainAmerica, and the Avengers franchise for themost part), A Series of Unfortunate Events, Be More Chill, Haikyuu (for the most part, I'm not sure how well I can write some of the characters) etc. And you can request whatever,tbh, I'll research it or ask you for a character background if I don't recognize it! I'mnot rly comfortable writing explicit sex scenes, or describing gore but otherwise everything else is fine!! I figured, since I'm not updating this anymore (though I might in severalmonths, or a year, or something, but def not anytime soon)!!! Comment down below if you want me to do a request for you!! Or, if you want (comment this too, pls) I can give youmy tumblr and you can talk to me there via the chat or w/e!!


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